yes.i.love.you.

2009-01-18T00:11:00.002+08:00

sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.

2009-01-17T01:04:00.002+08:00

updated my profile and wishlist and blah blah blah.
go see under "winter".

seriously, ppl, dun ask me out.
i feel bloodily indignant, guilty, frustrated, sian, etc.
in short, upset.
it's really not within my control.

if it really is within my control, do you think i'll still be stuck in these bloody houses?!?!?!
NO.
i'll be meeting up with lots of ppl.
think for me.
i'm not as carefree k?
though i wish to be carefree.
dun wanna push my luck.
cos i've tried pushing it.
how do you think i could go out in e first place??

yeah i noe i'm worse than pathetic.
but seriously
if you guys wanna go out so much
and need a female companion,
go get another girl.
i'm 100% not that girl who can go out every week.

you noe how much it breaks my heart when i totally am locked at home
and you guys are out?
and you guys want me out?
how i'd wish i could just bang e wall and die
so that i'm no longer restrained to the many walls at home.
you kept repeating that no one understands you.
so who understands me?

even if you understand, will you ever accept it for good?

2009-01-13T23:51:00.003+08:00

and... i suddenly miss 23/07.
maybe reading bear's blog caused our mini mini fights and squabbles to resurface...
or maybe jay chou's voice is just too overwhelming...

it's been a long time ever since i went blog surfing, esp for 23/07 blogs.
read thru wat i've missed.
really, i've missed a lot.
bear's was one of the last few.
but when i reached his and scrolled down,
i just can't hold back.
oddly enough, i started by smiling.
den crying.
if bear ever reads tis, he's gonna label me a crazy woman again.
but... i dunno....
really miss e girls, though i can't go out...
and the guys too....

sian.
wanna find bear bear to quarrel with me again.
bear bear i miss you!!!! O;(

2009-01-12T00:24:00.003+08:00

recently went back to anderson to relief for a few days.
ok lah, the teachers are great.
most of e students too, except for a couple of NA students.
they really got me pulling my hair out.
enjoyed exploring the teachers' lounge.
staff benefits and all.
haha.
lucky jiahao.
he gets to stay there for 4 months.
miss the place a lot.
and the food.
afterall, 4 out of 18 years of my life went to that place.

passed my ftt le.
wonder when will i be able to take my test.
hmmm.
should be later than e private candidates ba.
should've gone private instead of sch.
now have to wait for a LONG time.

and this, is going to be my NEW CAR.
not mine exactly, cos i'm sharing it with my dad.
rather upset with e colour initially.
cos it's PINK. migod.
but, i suppose i've to come to terms with it.

cos most ppl definitely dun have a car of their own,
much less a honda.
ok. it's just 1.3.
but still.
but THEN....
pls, dun start car pooling.
i'm NOT a chauffeur.
thought that e car will do good for my endless number of tuitions though.

2009-01-06T00:19:00.002+08:00

wow. it's been almost a mth.
am officially an unemployed.
so difficult to get relief teaching.
*cries*

miss going to sch again.
suppose it's e security that studying in jc gives.
wear uniform, do hw, got allowance.
dun need to worry abt jobs, resume, portfolio and money.
lagi best, got bear and e rest.
wonder how's everyone doing now.
i seem to have disappeared into thin air, out of contact...

enjoyed myself at e chalet.
once again, proved that qien dotes on me e most.
O:D
still suffering from post-chalet-blues.
though there were hiccups everywhere, anytime,
like wat qien said,
"just take e positives."
think it's e highlight of e holidays.
but we overspent.
KA-BOOOM!!!!!!

went for my 1st driving lesson today.
ok lah.
quite fun, quite nervous, quite excited.
seriously,
i'm under e delusion that i'm rather fab as my car engine only stalled twice in 2 hrs on e 1st day.
or is it a delusion?

my credit card bill came.
omg it's 2.5K!!!
KA-BA-BOOM!!!!

less than a mth to chinese new year.
meaning, 1 mth later will be my bdae.
wat do i want?
how to celebrate?
i dunno....
but i think it'll be rather hard on qien.
cos 5 days after my bdae will be valentines.
KA-BA-BA-BA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-19T00:58:00.002+08:00

just watched twilight with qien.
EDWARD IS BLOODY HANDSOME.
nevermind wat joselyn and the rest might say abt the discrepancies in the book and movie.
i dun mind two SHUAI versions of EDWARD.
and his overprotection of Bella!!
*heart melts*
EDWARD TOTALLY ROCKS!!!!
how i'd wish my boyfriend's a vampire too.
ultra fun. cool.

2008-12-02T01:30:00.004+08:00

yah e 2 angies.
ok i'm the angie.
angelina's e angel. (by right)

angel, yvette, me, jose, sibei.
before we all go home.

me and daryl.
v tired by then le.
and DUNNO WHY, E CAM WENT BLUR AGAIN.
sian.

ah.
me and sibei.

somehow, e cam went more and more blurred.
sibei, me, jose.

dun understand why.
me, jose.

me, kaijie.

and e cam suddenly became ok again.
bear, me.
not taking a pic with him is definitely wrong.
haha.
maybe we're juz destined to be best friends and enemies at e same time. nemesis.

with ms norsheha.
that stupid dj pronounced it as nor-she-sha
PLS.
we nearly laughed off our chairs.
jose, sibei, yuhan, jiahaur, ms norsheha, bear, yvette, angelina, me.

back from prom.
EXTREMELY TIRED.
nearly didn't want to go.
heart pain.
all e money i spent

and e make up on my face.

tired tired tired.

luckily there's NO MORE prom
good riddance!!!

oh yah.
went facebook using qien's acct just now.
to see dihui's new girlfriend.
seeing all e pics and tags reminded me why i dun wanna have facebook.
cos if i open an acct, i've to maintain it.
of which i'm lazy to do so.
so i shall stand firm to my decision of not having facebook.

ok. might relent lah.
but mine will be super not updated.
cos there's many more stuff to do online.

LIKE ONLINE SHOPPING.

dumb.

2008-11-28T14:26:00.002+08:00

yeah i passed my btt.
that little bit of happiness i initially had was gone.
cos i did something stupid.
lied that i failed.
therefore, guilt corroded e smirk on my face.

suppose it's kinda difficult to lie to someone close to your heart.
cos you'll feel very remorseful of the act, despite the initial cheekiness.
esp if the other party feels responsible for e failure of e test.
and happily, encouragingly offers to re-take the test with you.
sebast kept emphasizing how bad was i.
i understand it now.

i noe you dun take it to heart,
but i still feel apologetic for lying to you, no matter how small e lie.
and i dun even think that you're not affected.

sorry hubby. O;'(

2008-11-28T00:46:00.003+08:00

how fun is staying at home and doing chores??
oh yes, of course it's fun.
let me tell you how.

1. perfecting your cutting and chopping skills, such that watever you slice is of equal thickness.
2. getting plain tired after a day of soaking your hands in all sorts of liquids and labour, only to find that you totally did not burn any fats and instead, ate more and gain weight. thks man.
3. enjoying the sweet view of your dear little bros playing com e WHOLE AFTERNOON. and you dun get to play till nite.
4. missing out on all e fun when your friends go out/attempt to ask you out. and mind you, i'm not referring to qien. i do have OTHER FRIENDS who ask me out, like andre and eunice.
5. losing friendships. (while i admit that it wasn't e deciding factor, it did contribute to e ending of e friendship.)

there goes my youth. every holiday. for SIX YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how did i ever survive.

2008-11-25T23:53:00.002+08:00

after reading my previous entry,
i realised that it doesn't speak enough of wat i really feel.
thus tis post.

looking back,
we really spent a long time together.
thks for all the attempts to cheer me up too,
esp when i was facing lost friendships,
lousy results, family probs and stuff....
your efforts are much more commendable than mine....
cos... we noe. haha.

4 years can change a person.
going to anderson changed me.
being with you changed my life too.
we noe that we changed for each other, but it wasn't forced.
cos we love.

thks. really.
love ya.

2008-11-24T01:06:00.002+08:00

so long never update blog le.
haha.

a's over.
they're out to kill us.
every paper is the SAME.

yest's our 4TH ANNIVERSARY!!!!
haha
to tell you e truth, i couldn't sleep the nite before.
as in, 21 nov.
maybe i'm excited.
haha
though it's just an outing,
but it feels like something much much more impt.

4 years.
WOw.
think tis relationship almost totally changed me.
and my life.
sometimes when i look at qien,
i wonder, "am i really related to tis guy? HOW??"
but when i think of the past, look at e pic we took,
YAH..... THIS GUY IS MY BOYFRIEND.

4 years.
i think he has shown the biggest amt of tolerance to me, as compared to anyone else other than my family.
how should i count my blessings?
seriously.
i'm thankful for that bold step i took.
becoz i think i've just found the person who understands me the most.
someone to share my journey of life with.
my deepest thoughts.... and all the wild stuff.
and it feels so homely to be beside you.
becoz of you, i've experienced a plethora of emotions.
and i relish every single moment of it.

thanks so much.
for being... i dunno.
everything??
not really.
but definitely a HUGE PART OF MY LIFE.

love ya so much.
hope that there's many more 4th anniversaries awaiting us!!!

p.s. it feels so good to be able to see you and type tis at e same time.
pp.s. I DYED MY HAIR!!!!

2008-10-24T02:46:00.002+08:00

一天天多一点点
像垃圾堆满房间
无法逃避也无法整理
我们的关系
墙上的大头贴
小小的你一张脸
笑起来的样子很特别
紧靠我身边
你在电话里的声音
说不出的原因
让我好怀疑
你在那里我就快看不到你
听不到你
就快忘记我们曾相爱的日期
我好想再看到你
再听到你
好想再闻到你在我房里的空气
随身听没了电
一个人回想从前
好像不过才过三两天
对你好想念
你在电话里的语气
乱糟糟的情绪教我好担心
你在那里我就快看不到你
听不到你
就快忘记我们曾理顺的约定
我好想再看到你
再听到你
好想再闻到你在我毛衣里的呼吸
我不能不看到你
不听到你
不要告诉我说我们不能在一起
我现在就要看你
就要听你
拼命要证明我是多么在意着你

2008-09-30T23:49:00.003+08:00

i feel so sorry.
so sorry to qien
so sorry to sebast
so sorry to weisiong

是我的错
是我心疼
是我心痒
是我心急

好想醉
不能醉
酒不够
不太浓
太多心事烦恼
不能就在嘴中化开

只剩下
酒暖肚
冷了雾
又是
看不清楚
染红白花
朦胧才能让心情
升华

2008-09-26T08:50:00.002+08:00

well, prelims are OBVIOUSLY over.
and it's kinda OBVIOUS that i didn't get brilliant results or improved.
bloody hell i conked up my chinese essay.
and my maths paper is such a disastrous one.
chem was definitely wat i deserved, since watever i didn't study came out.
i did hope that i could do better for physics.
i dun dare to see my gp paper or cll paper 2.
passing everything is not my target anymore.
argh.
muz mug even more hiong den ever.

bryan had high fever e past few days.
so, nice me HAD to stay at home to look after him.
i swear, my patience was running out yest.
i nearly cried when my aunt told me it's better to stay at home to look after him.
why?
maybe i wanna make up for my disgusting results
maybe i miss everyone in sch
maybe i wanna get out of home
maybe... i just wanna continue mugging.

nevertheless, i'm in the hub now.
damn tired.
and seriously lagging behind my revision schedule.

hope that huimin is feeling better day by day.
hope that dihui will recover soon and stop getting sick.
hope that verena will get used to life at Queen's Mary and the climate and all.
hope that darren will feel happier and move on.
hope that bear will get well soon.
hope that sylvia will just, not worry and be HAPPY!!!!
hope that bryan will fully recover and stop giving everyone trouble.
hope that ben will do well for his n's.
hope that qien will be able to cope with his gradually hectic life.

hope that i will do well enough for my a's to go overseas to study.

2008-08-30T03:59:00.002+08:00

revisited ANDss again with wanyi.
saw the teachers i wanted to see
went where i wanted to stand upon again
found the locker which i used.
how familiar...

i've always had the habit of using a locker in sec sch,
even if it means sharing with another person.
i dun mind.
it feels like living with your good friend.
must've developed that habit since primary 5.

the school is changing.

tracing the path with wanyi was a heartwarming experience.
my sec one classroom, sec two, four...
me and shimin's strategic seats...
the classroom windows which were my entrance to the classrooms...
the ecogarden which house-d a family of cats...
the chicken rice which we missed so much and would always buy together during recess...
not to forget the fruit drink stall...
i love apple-orange. but only from that stall.

that was when i realised that there seems to be something missing.
the volleyball court on which my memories of the girls' team were formed is being replaced by a sprouting sports complex.
the staircase of the D&T block, which was our haven after a strenuous period of training, doesn't look the same anymore.

and...
there's nth left of the memories between me and qien.
becoz wat was our memory, has been demolished. though long ago.
i can still remember the stretch of lockers
the numerous aircon classrooms which the upper sec enjoyed
the chinese lit classroom... which was just opp his classroom.
and the classroom where we had that first pre-chengdu meeting with the teachers.
during which i sat opp you. and that was the first time i really took a good look at you.
but it was just a look.
the prelude to the prelude of my present life.
the backgate leading to the food centre where we would have lunch often together
and the way to the bus stop where you would never fail to wait for 265 with me, to send me home faithfully.
the temp classrooms belonged to the period where love was blossoming, where it was the "honeymoon" period, our first valentine exchange of presents, where i received my first bouquet of flowers from a person, where 3/2 was formed...

i've never felt so much love for ANDss before.
so much that i tear as the reminiscing goes on.

let me go back to anderson....
qien, bring me back there... ...

2008-08-29T00:55:00.001+08:00

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I WANNA DO AFTER MY A'S
I MADE A LIST OF THEM
A'S COME QUICKLY!!!!!

2008-08-26T23:33:00.002+08:00

sometimes you just fail in life.
well, i just failed again.

but who cares?

it's juz another 2 mths to a's,
so it's kinda obvious wat's priority.
and seriously,
wat's e probability of sticking together after graduation?

就让它好聚好散吧。

thank you for pointing out that i'm naive though.
i certainly realised e flaw in my definition of "friend".
how foolish of me.
little wonder i fail gp like nobody's business.

but seriously, can you explain to me wat did i do wrong?
i really dun understand everything else, apart from the childish act.

perhaps it's my negligence too.
spent too much time on 2406 to solidify any friendships in 23.
nevertheless, i'm glad i still have bear, at least.
and happy to confirm that e friends i have in 24 are real great and are close to me.

(interrupt: really sorry to qien that i've to burden you with ben's work and my family's insistence on you giving tuition so frequently. haiz. mei lian jian ni le. and i dunno how i can help.)

good luck studying
have fun
let me leave tj in peace.

*currently revising all other relations with those i seemingly are friends with*
*how many of them come from 23?*
*but of course, it's my fault. delivered, accepted, signed. O:D*

2008-07-19T23:27:00.002+08:00

CDDEE.

if a's is a person,
you noe wat will i do?
i'll slap his face, punch his stomach, pull out his hair, bite his ear, dislocate his nose, poke his eyes, sink my nails into his arm and cheeks, and make him totally impotent.
and i'll really do it, unlike wat des and joselyn always comment when i threaten bear.
becoz i'm REALLY REALLY god damn bloody f-ing irritated now.
becoz i'm fuckingly grounded by my mother all the way from NOW TILL 18 NOV.

bloody fucking hell.

notice how not-often do i swear in blogs and in everyday life.

2008-07-11T09:49:00.003+08:00

IT'S E FIRST TIME I PASSED ALL MY SUBJECTS FOR JC!!!!!
WOW!!!
need to thank ms norsheha alot, becoz she gave me a 8 for my class participation!!!
and tangtang and all, cos he also gave me 8!!!
and mr tan too, if i didn't calculate wrongly.
i resolve to work hard and get ABBCC by prelims!!!
"-_-"
that'll be rasing 2 grades per subject.
omg.

我的任性似乎是你的不幸
你的情绪
就像湖底的风景
原本清澈透明
却因雨滴
泛起涟漪
我看不清

不想和别人一样
让涟漪破坏对彼此的感情
对不起
打乱了湖面的宁静
真想试着
收起那份肆意
窥个究竟
找出原因
再把湖底风景
变回
从前的美丽。。。

2008-07-08T12:18:00.002+08:00

now in hub.
got back most of my jct results le.
i improved, i de-proved.
suppose you can guess wat de-proved.
to think that i was aiming to hit a C tis time, so that i'll be in time to get a B by prelims.
kinda turned off by my stupid brain.
it took me a bloody 40min to realise that i'm totally in e wrong direction.
and my AQ was badly done.
bloody hell.

and seriously, i'm not that happy with my chem and math grade, much less cll.
though i improved for e first two.
totally threw away 19 marks for my chem.
wonder wat kind of stupid results will be printed on my report PAPER.
(it's not even printed on gd quality paper. juz standard A4 size)

那天遇见了她
好熟悉好陌生
不是最熟悉，但也是很熟悉的陌生人。
有时会问自己
是谁的错？
也许忽略掉她
也许潜意识里想放手
那通电话
好像分手
你崩溃了
最后我也崩溃了

就让这遗憾成为我的错
再也挽回不了
把心烧烤
就连球艺也忘掉
只剩下04年
新良大酒店
赖在床上谈心的味道

throughout tis time when i went blog-dead,
got back my PW results: A
qien got his results: damn gd.
qien got into NUS: ns got disrupted.
celebrated xinan's bdae: damn ex.
celebrated sebast's bdae: damn fun.
celebrated qien's bdae: very very ex.
celebrated dihui's bdae too: kinda apologetic. and FUN.
went to lep camp: IT'S DAMN GOOD!!!! miss the days where you can skip everything you dun like. and eat and eat and play cards. and DISCUSSING ABT SOMALIA.
my mother got into hospital: fine now.
i'm reduced to a household chore machine: tired.
starting to pia for prelims again: no energy le.

2008-04-24T20:12:00.002+08:00

heck i'll juz admit that i can't let you go.
can't stand the fact that you're going in.
YAH IT'S JUZ GOING IN.
i noe you'll be coming out in like, a week's time?
but no.
i can lie to myself that you're just around.
subconsciously i noe that e difference is not merely that teeny weeny bit.
you will not be beside me.
it's like,
HELLOWWW....
I CAN'T KISS THE AIR AND GO,"HEY HUBBY, I MISS YOU."
get it?
rather than learning to be independent,
i'd rather put it as a time for me to detach myself a lot away from love.
maybe it's time.
let's hope that i can get over tis quickly.
i need a short period of time to adjust to it.
before that, pls dun irritate me.
i'm warning ppl around me, esp bear.
bear means no harm, but i will most prob be a bit moody or emo tis few days.
so pls, dun torture me.
enjoy yourself in there.

落花人独立，微雨燕双飞。

2008-03-28T08:51:00.013+08:00

yeah OBVIOUSLY i'm back from shanghai.
the places were great.
i enjoyed drinking carrot soup everyday.
those who want to noe more,
ask me personally.
wasting my time away in hub now

adding all these pics.

here goes.

we're in tis place called "Xin Tian Di".
it was a group of western architecture left behind by those colonial ppl.
once a residential area,
it's now a money-spinning arena.

allow me to introduce my brother, Ben Tan

and my lousy bro, Bryan Tan.

needless to say, the one clutching to me tightly is my dad.

together with bryan stealing the limelight.

we're on the boat, waiting to cruise HuangPu river.
it's god damn cold,
and i'm practically shivering.
to add on, it's RAINING at 6 degrees.
i need two blankets when i sleep in air-con in singapore.

tis is one of e better pics taken.
huangpu river divides shanghai into two, basically.
pudong and puxi.
modern and old.

day2:

we're on e way to suzhou.
past e dumb but nice industrial park which singapore pumped in dunno how many millions or billions.
it's a disgrace. and a v bad scar on our faces.

tis is jinji lake,
loosely translated as "golden chicken lake".

me and my two other siblings.

and my parents.

ben and bryan were trying to act like models, walking on the side of e pavement.

we finished our lunch and i saw tis beautiful pillar, on which there's a tablet of a famous poem which got hanshansi famous.

and tis, is han shan si.

that same old poem, only that it's way larger.

tis temple ought to be mentioned especially.
it's actually a temple for couples to pray,
so that they can be together for TEN LIFETIMES!!!
omg.
my parents went to pray.
i wonder who's going to do housework next lifetime.
sibei said that she'll want to pray too.
lol.
joselyn said that she'll get real tired of the guy.

tis is ou yuan, the residence of a rather wealthy couple.
it's special becoz the master of the house allowed his wife to study and entertain guests together,
which was extremely rare and open-minded of him during his era.
think feetbounding.

while we were buying gifts, the three guys went photo-taking.

we met up after we were done and my dad took tis rather nice pic of my mother.

tis is ling shan da fo.
it's erected to bless e fishermen who depend on fishing in tai hu.
but THEN AGAIN,
tai hu is a LAKE.
would there EVER be waves??

see the petals of the lotus?
you have to donate ONE MILLION SG DOLLARS TO PUT YOUR NAME THERE.
anything below that will do too.
your name will just be at a MUCH LESS visible place. O:D

while mummy,papa and bryan went climbing,
mama took tis pic of us.

and we took tis pic of mama.

we were on the steps.
so steep!!!!
so zhai!!!
omg!!!

minute maid in china is NICE. and it cost only 80 SG cents.

2008-02-16T23:20:00.007+08:00

kinda lazy to talk.
not in e mood to, anyway.
i lost to man u again, as usual.
not that i'm v angry or wat.

a picture speaks a thousand words.
so allow me to bombard you by the thou.

tis was given to me by qien on our 3rd anniversary last november.

it's a earring and necklace set from perlini's silver, chosen by huimin.

tis new year i tried floral arrangement.
thought that it was not that bad.
used gerberas, roses and tulips.
kinda love e colour.
tis is before i removed e nettings.

tis was after i removed all e nettings and e flowers sorta bloomed.

went out with qien on vdae, obviously.
we watched cj7.
quite nice lah.
e alien was v cute.
can't wait for e merchandise to come out.
he gave me tis bouquet.
actually felt kinda guilty.
cos 60 dollars juz went down e drain like tis.
maybe next year i won't ask for a bouquet ba...

went out with dihui on 11 feb.
he treated me to dessert, cos he couldn't make it on 10 feb.
we shared tis, cos it was TOO HUGE FOR INDIVIDUAL CONSUMPTION.
i had a mango sago.
nice, except that it was too cold for comfort.
a lot of ice.

jiahaur.
my ex-cousin-in-law.
haiz.
shows how unpredictable life can be.
still misses calling him cou-in-law, though i noe i have to restrict myself.

the latest addition to e sotong family: yuhan.
another fish.
glad for sibei.
too bad for bear.
he seems more like... bulbfish?
yuhan's not that "latest" anyway.
already in there for a couple of mths le.

6.10 gathering.
not a lot came.
but it was fun.
played taboo and truth or dare again.
called our two ex-teachers.
andre's v unlucky tis time round.

life in sch without these guys is still kinda weird.
just miss them.
and of course, huimin.
but she's not in e pic.
LOTS HAVE CHANGED.

(pic removed.)

including us.
tis kind of lazing-around-in-bed-and-chatting sessions have became a thing of the past.
we are getting more and more busy with our own lives.
meetings have evolved into mrt rides after sch and work.
and e weekly dinner or going home together on fridays.
and it will continue to evolve, cos my a's will be getting nearer and his enlistment day will be getting nearer too.
i just miss sitting on my bed and talking nonsense.

iloveyouhubby.
yeahimgreedy,
butimwishingthatyourebymysideeverynight.
justbymysideandnothingelse.
smellingyourmanujerseyandgazingatyou.
thatwouldbegoodenough.
enoughformetodreamthroughthenight.

2008-02-13T15:17:00.002+08:00

wat did i do to irritate him again???
oh yah.
i think i got it.
i bickered with him again and he said that he's not going to talk to me for e next 3 days.
fine.
watever.
i'm not in any mood to bicker with anyone anyway.

wat e hell.
i had to lose my earpiece AGAIN.
i always lose things on wednesdays.
and i lost a lot of things tis year.
damn.
it's not making my new year any good.

and i can't book e tickets online!!!!
wat's e point of having an online booking system if you cannot allow the public to book their tickets for vdae??
stupid.

and i haven't finish studying for my test.
j2 life.

just spent my bdae on sunday.
went out with e guys to kbox.
we, or rather, they, had a hard time deciding between paris and kbox.
but we ended up in kbox.
and dihui couldn't make it.
only met him for abt 10min.
darren was almost half dead singing.
sebast and xinan practically didn't sing.
we had to force xinan to open up his mouth.
he seems happier being a fan.
sebast had sore throat.
he was v sporting though, singing a few songs once in a while.
most of e time, qien and i were e ones seemingly hogging e microphones.
we were late anyway.
when we arrived,
sebast and xinan left to buy my presents.
they took an hour to get me a guy's wallet and a necklace.
i wonder wat's e wallet for, since i just changed a wallet recently.
and i'm not a guy.
qien and dihui saw e wallet and laughed.
was kinda grateful becoz they took e time to celebrate for me.
esp xinan and darren, who have extremely limited time outside tekong.
dihui also, for rushing down right after his tuition.
sebast too, cos he was sick.
and most imptly, qien becoz after kbox, he went to my grandma's place and spent e day with my family.
they seem to be ok with him.

my uncle passed away on e second day of e new year.
alone.
my aunt didn't even get to see him for e last time.
kinda sad, though i'm not close to him.
cos it made me realise one thing: grab every min and every sec.
dun waste it.
so say "i love you" and give e ppl you love a great hug!!!
happy vdae.

2008-02-01T21:21:00.000+08:00

我觉得我有些自私。
把他赶回家，因为他很累，累得在地铁上睡着了。
他说他只是闭上眼睛，可是当身体慢慢压在我左肩上，点头如捣蒜时，我知道了。
所以，就骗说我得在楼下吃饭，甩掉他了，逼他回家了。
我了解他的失望，知道他的无奈。
可是就是不要他累。
就是不要老公累。

因为心疼我老公。
对不起。

2008-01-31T23:56:00.000+08:00

too lazy to update.
so "borrowed" tis from des' blog.

What Angeline Tan Wan San Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.
You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.
You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2008-01-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

new identity: mugger

new routine: go to sch, do hw, wait for him, go home.

new shopping list: refer to profile

new earphones: pending

new scheduler: pending

new credit card: PENDING...

new life: awaiting 9 feb.

new shopping fave: awaiting 8 mar.

new relationship with a certain someone: constantly renewing to ensure freshness and up-to-
date-ness.

new resolutions: apart from e two which i kept to during new year, an addition: not to hand my hw late becoz i didn't do. only if i didn't bring.

but i miss my old friends. a lot.

2008-01-04T22:17:00.000+08:00

sch start le.
so sian lah.
but i like it. O:D
lectures only.
and NO MORE HOUSEHOLD CHORES.

spent e past three days with joselyn, sibei, yuhan, van and bear in lep room.
slacking around.
fooling around.
copying around.

angelina, yvette, khiapeng, jiahaur, raymond and des are OGLs.
only saw them like, once or twice tis week.
so sad.

sch's different without 24/06.
dihui: working.
sebast: working.
xinan: ns.
darren: ns.
qien: working.
huimin: working.

i miss the times when i would open e lep room door and see them busy copying hw.
or when lesson's over and all of us go opp to have lunch together.
better still,
when our paths cross each other between lessons.
and i can see qien.

qien....

O;'(

maybe i'm still not used to having him not in sch.
maybe i'm still clinging on to him like a plaster.
is our relationship now directing towards a conventional "adult" relationship?
where couples hardly have time for each other due to their own work.
or...
are we becoming more and more like friends...?
i really hope not.
i hope wat i'm thinking is right,
that our relationship is now directing towards self independence but still maintaining its sweetness instead of cooling off.
i dun want e relationship to end by letting it die down...
will tis be e kind of relationship that i'll be in from now till we grow up and work....?

两颗心悬在那里

时间时间就快要没有时间

我们越来越像

（是不是）

越来越像朋友而已。

2007-12-21T21:45:00.000+08:00

wat e fuck.
why do i have to be in the paper chase????
i feel so .........
i so dun want to think abt it.
fuck.
so feel like dying.
die before i have to join in e workforce.
and be one of e dumb kids slogging for a life.

my patience is draining.
being constantly cooped up in e house becoz of two brothers is not my way of life.
my lack of freedom has already cost me a friend.
ok, maybe two.
why e hell should they be my responsibility???
i'm their sister. not their mother.
cleaning up the shit after the two of them and making e whole house clean and making my grandma happy by doing chores everyday and neglecting my homework every holiday isn't the life that i want.
i noe i've to catch up on my studies and i want to do that.
but wtf.
i've only night time and sometimes, in the afternoon to do it.
i want to learn new things.
learn driving, floral arrangement and experience working life.
but do i get a chance???
oh no, fucking no.
i dun even have e time to finish that stupid cross stitch that i started one year ago.
wat e fuck.

i'm getting more and more hotheaded.
wat e fuck.
it's someone i dunno anymore.

sometimes the people you love are beautiful.
the life you lead is beautiful.
the memories you had are beautiful.
but when reality and the phrase "rat race" comes into your mind,
everything is UGLY.

i may love the people i love
but dun be surprised if i suddenly die one day.
i dun like tis world at all.

2007-12-06T23:53:00.000+08:00

4th day since his plane left.
i miss him.

there's so much that i wanna tell him...
so much that i wanna share and grumble...
but all i can do is to send smses which were never replied...

anyway,
thks to dihui, sebast and darren for accompanying me to send him off.
though it was so late.
i suppose you guys wouldn't be able to see it anyway.
not to mention my aunt and bros,
who stayed there all e way with me to 11 plus.
we left e airport only at 12.

on e way there, i actually wanted to cry.
yah lah, i'm a crybaby.
but i noe that i've to resist e urge,
cos if i really do,
my aunt would make a u-turn and drive me home.

when we parted,
it's weird that i didn't cry.
just kept smiling.
and smiling.
till i'm on my bed and e lights are off.

dihui was kind enough to allow us some time alone.
haha.
but i was kinda shy or embarrassed.
lol.

enough abt tis.
my batt's running out.

12 dec.
12 dec.
12 dec........

feeling so listless nowadays.
i noe something's missing.
yah, no big deal, he's just away for a holiday.
but still....
i miss you so much.... O;'(

2007-11-24T23:31:00.000+08:00

i love my hubby!!!!!!
i love anniversaries!!!!!!!
lol....

went to yck chapel yest morn to attend ms chew's wedding.
she's v beautiful.
haha.
shimin saw michael for e first time
according to her,
michael and mr lim gives ppl e same kind of "feeling"
like v honest de.
haha.
but mr lim more shuai.
lol.

e cupcake was great too.
but on top of e cake was e cream.
on top of e cream was....
OIL.
felt so guilty when i left it there.

wah...
so tired.
cos i had to make qien's present
so every nite can only do it from 11 plus to 2 or 3.
had to do housework and help my grandma in e day, so no time.
i almost dozed off on e bus.

after e long journey to kbox plaza,
waited for qien outside e plaza itself.
cos there's NTH inside!!!!!
den he turned up.
haha.
w/o a present.
O;'(

kboxing was fun.
initially i think we were kinda sian.
cos a bit like no mood to sing.
den add more and more songs
so e atmosphere was better.

luckily he brought a bag,
so i was able to use it as a pillow to prop up my head.
really pity kbox's sofa.
it's kinda new, but while lying on it i propped up my legs, in addition to my head.
therefore, there were some sorta "holes" done by my heels.
mind you, they're at least 3 inches high and v thin.

hehe.
we sang duets and i thought that it was kinda nice!!!
too bad jay chou's songs are not all out yet.
and gong zhu xiao mei's osts!!!!!!
haha.
a reason to visit kbox in jan again.

after kboxing,
we went to jack's place for dinner.
not v ex,
but we like it.
haha.

on e way there, he kept on asking me abt e present.
haha.
thought that i dunno.
when i went to washroom in kbox,
he already placed it in my pouch!!!
and even covered it with my wallet and sk jewellery box.

it's a v nice necklace and earring set from perllini's silver.
haha.
next time den upload e pic online.

anyway,
something funny happened during e dinner.
we considered ordering wine for e dinner.
but dropped e idea cos we didn't think abt it beforehand and therefore, didn't bring enough money.
it's somewhat a joke, you see.
however....
while waiting for the waiter to serve us soup,
tis waiter brought two wine glasses and placed it on our table.
together with a wine bucket and needless to say,
A BOTTLE OF RED WINE.
i was like, "omg...." in my heart.
part of me was thinking, "what kind of a joke is tis? i thought we were fooling around abt e wine?"
e other part of me was thinking," couldn't be lor... qien's not that romantic. that i noe."
COS QIEN WAS AS SHOCKED AND STUNNED AS ME.

HOW COULD IT BE???
HOW COULD IT BE???

then, tis indian guy from e next table told e waiter that he could have made a mistake.
we laughed and qien chatted with e guy for a while.
comparing e two tables....
wah.
really GREAT difference.
but nvm.
cos i ENJOYED e dinner.
it's been such a long time since i've been able to eat with qien in such a nice atmosphere.
alone.
normally we'll eat with dihui, sebast, e guys etc. and huimin.

we reached home around 10.
e outing made me melt every inch and millimetre of my heart.
haha.
COS I WAS SOOOO HAPPPPYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

4th year!!!!

i love you so much. O;D

2007-11-18T00:31:00.000+08:00

life is turning mundane now.
wake up.
housework.
eat.
housework.
a bit of reading or studying.
housework.
eat.
a bit of relaxation.
study.
sleep.

SEEE???????
how bad can it be???
i totally missed out on the 23 class chalet!!!!!
thks to my BRO. that younger one.
that kept me bounded to the house every holiday for the past 5 years.

went to army museum yest.
the 4D show was GREAT!!!
and there's free shooting!!!!
unlimited!!!!
of course you have to queue each time for 15 shots.
THAT sotong kia would've liked it. O=D

went compasspoint today.
den realised wat a LOW budget i have.
maybe it's becoz those that i see cost like, 40 to 50 plus.
damn ex.
O;'(

count down to 23.

xinan, darren, sebast and dihui came over today.
feel so bad for leaving my mother in e kitchen alone with my bro to do e cooking.
SO BAD!!!
discussed abt e chalet.
hmmm.
we're basically bounded by the budget.
haiz.
but i'm sure it's gonna be great!!!!
at least that's one that i'm not gonna miss.
dun regret e second time.

supposed to leave for bangkok last night.
but didn't go in e end.
cos we made e decision last min.
and my mother had to wait for the weekend to be over before CALLING UP HER FRIEND TO BOOK THE AIR TICKETS.
by then, e SQ tickets were all grabbed up.
so we couldn't go.

so now,
we're waiting patiently for the march sch holiday package to be released.
den,
we'll go to china instead.
i wonder if i'll be in e mood to go at that time.
when e a's are getting closer and closer.
-_-"

wateva.
bride-to-be needs to go rest early.
(who is my teacher.)
so is a dead-to-be.
(that's me.)

nitez.

2007-11-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

"wow, it's raining now."
that's wat my bro just said.

7 nov was a v exciting day.
how exciting?
let me count thy ways....

-finally saw zhiying for the first time.
(ok, that's becoz i dun go class outings.)

-truth or dare.
(not that exciting, but it did help pass time. at least we dun talk that much in small grps.
however, i believed that we irritated patrons nearby.)

-i knew that khiapeng was getting either bored, or pissed.
(it's not exciting, only until i started to think: shit, am i the one??)

-i went to qien's place before meeting everyone.
(how exciting when you were allegedly upset with your boyfriend and yet, went to his place
becoz you didn't want to go home, had nowhere to go and still has 2.5 HOURS before meeting
your class. and you said only three sentences when you were there. the intensity of the conflict
is just like playing 1 2 3 木头人: whoever moves, dies.)

-van's $2000 erhu was in my hands.

-kiss kiss. (between a number of ppl. some treat it as belated MOTHER'S DAY presents, others
as FEAR FACTOR. probably.)

-how impt it is to noe your directions well so that you will turn the right way and end everything
FAST.

-how impt that you're still... umm. pure. (after getting the qn from yuhan at the table, i finally
realised the IMPORTANCE. omg. imagine wat everyone's face would be if i said no. i can't bear
to think abt it.)

-crying yourself to bed. ( isn't it great to find out that your boyfriend called you on tues so that
he could ask you out on the next day, seeing that he has one week of "break" before his next
paper and he felt that you feel drifted away from him, and yet you happily snapped at him
becoz you got tired of thinking of him, therefore giving him the cold shoulder and regretting it
for the next 17 days of your holidays? [the day you confirm can go out with him] )

let me elaborate a bit.
i cried not becoz of the no-going-out-with-my-boyfriend-for-the-next-17-days.
but becoz,
you would really feel guilty and childish when it dawned on you that you misunderstood him for not being caring for you during his exam period when he really is thinking abt you.
when he is really trying his best not to leave you feeling lonely.
and you actually slammed him when he was trying to date you.
and you actually got angry with him w/o any communications beforehand.
wow.
that's a big TABOO. i hit bull's eye!!!!

so now,
i became the one trying to date him out,
but to no avail.
cos his slacking period is over.
leaving him with the MUGGER identity.
WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O;'(

and i feel apologetic for another issue.
sorry if i bugged you A LOT for clues.
haha.
juz for e fun of it.
now that i went blog-surfing,
it didn't seem that fun anymore.
lol.
sorry if you found me irritating.
haha.

on a lighter note,
andre's getting started on the 6.10 gathering!!!
yes!!!!

and i UPDATED my SHOPPING LIST!!!!!!!!
retail therapy.
wat a great form of relaxation.

counting down to 23 nov.
her wedding, my anniversary.

2007-11-04T00:26:00.000+08:00

List out your top 5 birthday presents you wish for:
1.CREDIT CARD
2.THAT toga dress i saw at DANIEL YEN...
3.GETTING OUT OF MY CURRENT CCA.
4.get a scholarship and get MUCH BETTER results miraculously
5.EVERYONE to celebrate my bdae!!! [2307 friends, 2406 ppl, family, 4206]

Answer the following questions:

1. The person/people who tagged you is/are?
ji. meishi.

2. Your relationship with him/her is…
my long lost sister. haha. no lah. 23mate.

[dunno where did qn3 go to. lazy to find.]

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you…
send me an sms when i was disgracing myself in math tutorial class. wah, that really cheered me up. still damn gan dong.

5. The most memorable words he/she had said to you...
i'll tell you when she says she loves me. now no. haha.

6. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she will…
wah. she'll jump onto me. haha. i'll do e same.

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be…
nth ba... she noes where a lovebite should be. ahaha. [hint to her DARLING.]

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will…
probably cry. wah.... can't see why such a great friend will become enemies.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be…
maybe cos one day i'll say that luo zhi xiang blah blah blah. haha. for the fun of it.

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is…
pray for her studies and life. if it works.

11. Your overall impression of him/her is…
slacker. ponner. noe e right stuff ppl. DRAMATIC, to the right extent.

12. How you think people around you feel about you?
ULTRA violent and CHAO unreasonable.

13. The character that you love of yourself are…
i love myself for loving freedom. haha.

14. On the contrary, the character that you hate of yourself are…
over-reliance due to dependency, and the fact that i get irritated easily. bear, that's how you got your way.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is…
nil. i'm happy with flaws. e part abt irritation can be improved though.

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them…
thks for spending your attention on me. haha. you noe that you're somewhere on my mind though i dun talk to you, or lose contact with you. haha. i noe i you3 yi4 xing4 mei2 ren2 xing4 most of the time, but memories cannot be erased. O;)

17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you…
[i agree with angelina. almost e whole class tagged le, no point tagging again.]
1hongqien
2ngdihui
3huimin
4michelle
5hongqiwei (though a bit like waste space leh, cos now having o's PLUS BLOGDEAD.)
6zhouwanyi
7benjamintan
8darrenwong (another BLOGDEAD kid.)
9sebast
10 CLARENCE!!!!!! (if he's using BLOG)

Who is No.6 having relationship with?
unlimited number. currently unsure. but judging from the number in sec sch.... haha. sure a lot. wanyi's too feng1 liu2 ti4 tang3 for anyone to take it.

Is No.9 a male or female?
male.

If No.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
NEVER. i will never put MY BROTHER near CLARENCE!!!!!!!!!! no.10 can go out with his shuai ge in sch.

How about No.8 and 5?
NO WAY MAN. 8 is too horny and 5 is straight. 1 will probably disown 5 if it really happens. or he'll split his sides. haha.

What is No.2 studying about???
Bio. chem. math. chinese lit.

When was the last time you had a chat with No.3?
wah. LONG time ago. like, before a's start?

What kind of music band does No.8 like?
S.H.E.

Does No.1 have any siblings ?
YES. that's e reason why he'll disown 5 if 5 and 8 are together.

How about No.7?
YES. it's ME.

Is No.4 single?
unsure. but will noe.

What is the surname of no.5?
HONG.

What is the nickname of no.10?
clare clare... [shivers]

What is the hobby of no.4?
i believe slacking around would be one of them.

Do no.5 and 9 get along well?
hmmm. should be quite cordial. but i think 5 would ignore 9 at home. haha. cos 9 is 5's bro's friend. +_+"

Where is no.2 studying at?
TJC.

Talk something casually about no.1?
hmmmm.... everyone must be v interested. haha. I MISS YOU!!! can't wait till a's are over. sometimes irritating but BEST turtle in e world.

Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
OMG.......
NEVER. HAHA.

2007-10-26T21:32:00.000+08:00

f-ing birds.
damn stupid birds.

i'm really not in the mood today.
not becoz it's e last day of sch.
but becoz of wat happened on the LAST period of the YEAR.

oh yah
THKS for giving us a name.
and by giving yourself a name too,
the class is .... i dunno.
i juz hope that things get better next year.

so sorry bear and jiahaur.
i didn't mean to upset you guys.
but i'm juz feeling kinda touchy today.
wat e hell.
i'm sorry if i made you even more unhappy, bear.
juz hope that you can be more tolerant of me tis time.
though it's kinda dumb of me to think tis way.
considering how i treated and tortured you tis whole year.
guess it's a great relief for you tis nov and dec.

qien, dihui and sebast weren't spared either.
according to them,
my face was all flushed up BEFORE and AFTER lunch.
i totally believe them,
seeing how i used the f word so frequently in the scope.
i'm sorry guys.
shouldn't vent my anger like tis.
esp when you guys are so stressed out by the a's now.
esp qien.
esp you.
sorry that i turned your day upside down.
you were kind to me today,
yet i took advantage of it.
FULL advantage of you.
and your emotions.

tis post was supposed to be a post of vulgarities.
yet it ended up in numerous apologies.
hope that i can be more emotionally stable e next year and stop hurting those i care abt.
ppl like qien, who i constantly was unappreciative of, and basically my closest sandbag and "VENTING machine".
i suppose e words i see on his face most of the time is:
"COME ON, VENT YOUR FRUSTRATIONS ON ME."
ppl like dihui and sebast, who were kinda there for me today.
ppl like bear, whom i felt sincerely guilty towards, after looking back my first year in tj.

ppl keeping telling me to not care abt it.
perhaps, they're really right.
really no point caring so much abt it.
let us find joy in sending out mails then.

apart from tis huge matter,
i am suffering from muscle-aches all over.
on account that i did makeup pe today and yest.
oh god.
AND,
i didn't get to have a meal with huimin, xinan, dihui, sebast, darren and qien.
cos they wanna have dinner after their lesson at 5.
the time i'm supposed to reach home.
wat a GREAT disappointment.
i was looking forward to eating kfc with them today.
after sebast told me last night.
life with them seems v relaxing.
maybe it's the feeling of having seniors.

oh.
and i couldn't withdraw from volleyball.
mr fung wants me to stay and go recre instead.
WAT'S THE POINT THEN???

wateva.
at least something happy did happened today.
I BOUGHT THE NAIL POLISH THAT I WANT FROM O2 SKIN!!!!
WOW!!!!
IT'S JUST THE RIGHT COLOUR!!!!!!
something like magenta.

AND THE SHOP IS HAVING 50% DISCOUNTS!!!!!!
WOW WOW!!!!!!!
I CAN BUY E PINK LOOSE POWDER THAT I WANT!!!!!!!
can't wait till i get my pocket money next week.

updated my shopping and wish list.
like i've said,
RETAIL THERAPY HELPS.
even though it's juz something cheap.
like your favourite nail polish.

2007-10-23T21:36:00.000+08:00

today is utterly an illogical day.
so pls
dun mind wat i'm writing.
must be the hormones.
and PW.

2007-10-23T21:26:00.000+08:00

wat am i doing now
i should be rehearsing
bear will definitely say
"YOU...."

haiz.
i can only say that i feel so
wu nai.
read sibei's blog
den i realised that i'm not the only one.

why does relationship make us so helpless?

wtf.
yes
it's WTF.

yet i'm drawn to it.
such a miserable pathetic thing.
i ought to die for being so stuck to love.
wtf.
wtf.
wtf.
shake me and make me wake up.
tell me wat am i thinking.
give me the reason why i love.

oh
maybe when i see you
then i'll finally be reminded.

but for now
NO

ARGH.
in need of retail therapy.

pls
send me money from heaven
shopping will definitely lift up my spirits.

wtf again.
i dunno wat i'm writing.
REALLY REALLY NEED TO BUY SOMETHING.
ANYTHING.

2007-10-23T19:05:00.000+08:00

我阿姨没结婚.
当时有了对象,到了谈婚论嫁的阶段.
可是最后,
没结婚.
因为家人.
至今,
不再想要两个人.

她本身也有着大女人主义的思想
靠自己,胜于靠他人的"奉养"

我想
我不结婚的原因
大概会和她一样

或许有一天
你会发现
你要的不是我这种人
你还是会要
小鸟依人
超级温柔
娇丽如花
的洋娃娃
一个让人羡慕不已
穿着打扮
活像从顶尖时尚杂志走出来的
窈宨淑女

君子好逑嘛.

而我
我是个
个性女孩
无法受拘束
就算束缚
也不知道是几时想被捆住.
穿得美美
是想给自己看爽
不是讨好炫耀的手法
追求时尚也不像
是我让你高兴的手段

我到底是怎么了
想讨好
却不喜欢你来教
教我怎么穿
教我怎么扮
教我怎么利用调色盘
调出你要的女人的味道

我真的
真有这么烂
烂到本性无法吸引你
只有在
从头到尾
从内到外变到底
变成身边的
超级无敌大淑女
才能再次
甚至永远
捆住你的整颗心

吗?

2007-10-07T16:02:00.000+08:00

promos are finally over.
so is my one week of "BREAK".
wow. what a week.
dunno what i'm doing.

e class went to teoheng @ katong shopping centre.
angelina kept talking abt it.
haha. must be a great place.
original plan was to go and enjoy with e class.
afterall, i hardly attend class gatherings.
and it's a gd chance to check out e place.

however, i pangseh them.
becoz of some addition to e crowd.
my dear angelina and gals should noe why.
felt v apologetic.

with that,
i shall let everyone noe my rationale for forgiving and not forgiving.
if i do not forgive, i will look as if i'm REAL petty.
but if i forgive, will the reason why i'm angry be known?

haha.
so proud to announce that I SUGGESTED BUYING A SCARF AS THE GIFT!!!
lol.
see?
girls love scarves.
esp the wollen ones.
maybe she and i do have something in common afterall.
lol.

life is getting tougher.
it's sorta like....
draining me.
i wonder how long can i hold on.
can i hold on?
i dunno if i'm too impatient.
maybe waiting for 35mths is not good enough afterall.
haiz.
jiayou to me ba.
i do hope that i'll noe wat i want soon.

sooner or later, i think the girls are going to be segreggated from the guys.
lol.
7 nov is one day worth looking forward to.
and 16 nov.
23 nov?
we shall see.

6.10 CHALET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--edited on 22 Oct 2007

2007-09-22T00:40:00.000+08:00

let me let everything go.
pls.
just let me let go of everything i cling on to.
i just feel like letting go.

it's so tiring.
it's draining my soul.
it's keeping me in chains.

allow me to break these chains.
allow me to drift.
allow me to leave.
cos i don't wanna hold on anymore.

i wanna know
wat am i holding on to?
wat's making me go on?
why keep hanging there?

just let me be alone.
no strings attached.
nothing attached.

may i?

2007-09-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

let me tell you a story.
a story of a magical friendship.

i got to noe a guy from my friends in amk library during mid-may in 2004.
we hit it off very quickly and exchanged numbers.
from then on, we would talk a lot on the phone or sms.
it seemed like e best part of the day was talking to him.
he knew me well.

when i was hospitalized in june for dengue fever,
no one visited me, apart from my close family.
not my classmates then, not my volleyball mates, not my close friends.
i slept and woke, read a book and slept, and woke and forced myself to eat, only to vomit.
i couldn't even get down the bed and roam and explore.
becoz if i do, i would faint.
he was the only one who visited me.
he pushed me around the garden on a wheelchair and chatted with me.
he brightened up my stay at e hospital.
at least, for that day.

too bad, he had to leave for taiwan a week later.
becos i still felt dizzy after i was discharged,
i couldn't attend his farewell party.
i couldn't even see him off.

after he left,
i tried to contact him via email and with an extremely slim chance, his singtel mobile number.
no reply.
then it dawned on me that i had no way to contact tis person.
the only thing i noe is that he's studying in an institution in taipei.
i begged my friends to find him when they are in taiwan,
but they either forgot or they couldn't find him.
it was one of the greatest regret in my life.

he called today.
three years after he left,
he's back.
god knows how much i missed him.
he's the kind of soulmate that you noe he noes you.
we only communicated for one month.
yet we knew that we understand each other.
i'm meeting him later.
9 sept 2007, 4pm, library@esplanade.
i've waited three years for this day to come.

2007-08-31T01:27:00.000+08:00

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/958774

go to tis website.
take e test.
i shall not talk abt anything else till promos' over.
everything's hectic.
i'm just inflicting pain on myself.
emotionally.
maybe someday it'll turn physically.

let me be cold.
let me be the ice princess.
go.

2007-08-19T23:42:00.000+08:00

从昨天到今天
还有明天
感谢老天让你们陪在我身边
爱的心
痛的心
等待的心
因为你们的拥抱我很放心
当初见面的不安彼此探索
也许有些茫然迷惑
朝夕相处才发现这世界中
没有人比你们更懂我
朋友姐妹都已不够来形容
我们的默契骄傲
扶持与包容
老婆老婆
我们一起打勾勾
请记得约定的旅程到永久

feel so emo.
decided to pop over and blog.
haiz.

huimin's bdae today...
haha.
happy bdae dearie.
though i paid a price in order to celebrate your bdae,
still feel that it's worth it.
see lah!!!
your face so big.
haha.
no lah.
your mian zi, not face.
kinda enjoyed myself over there today.
haha.
there were many cases of ppl zao xia though.
including me.

these few days, esp before e chalet,
it dawned on me that they are leaving soon.
v soon.
maybe it's becoz i dun have any seniors in sec sch,
so i really really cherish every single one of them now.
huimin, dihui, sebast, xin an, darren, yawen, fenglin...
the clique.
i forgot since when did i join in e clique and became a part of them.
it's almost like a part of cg24/06 le.
everytime, if our lunch period clashes,
i'll definitely find them.
of course, qien is part of the reason why i find them too.
but still,
i've always enjoyed myself around them.
i love the feeling of having seniors.
or rather, having them as seniors.
i'm gonna miss them so much.
suddenly, i feel so scared of losing them.
so scared of losing contact with them.
i wanna stay in touch...
i want them to remember my bdae next year...
i wanna invite them to my wedding...
i'm sure they would want to attend.
that is, IF i ever marry.
but staying in touch has never been my forte.
look at my sec sch classmates.
it's been ages since i've heard from my dearies from anderson sec.
they're like, a part of me, a part of my sch life.
seriously, from the bottom of my heart,
i really don't want to lose any single one of you.
you guys are the source of my laughter every break, lunch period and after sch in lep room.
the lame jokes, everything...

wat would j2 life be without them...?
wat would j2 life be without you...?

2007-07-21T23:09:00.000+08:00

jct was bad.
damn bad.
with e points i got,
no uni would accept me.
e lucky thing is,
it's only my J1 JCT.
work hard, my dearie.

just realised that i haven't blog abt didi and qiqi's bdae.
haha.
so here goes.

on 1 july, 2007...

i started off the day by getting frustrated over wat to wear.
ok lah,
finally got something out of my closet.
but according to didi and dardar,
the 2 clowns in the clique,
qiqi didn't do something abt my welfare and didn't give me money to buy clothes.
WAHHHHHH............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(burst into tears)
met huimin and e rest at bugis mrt station.
den realise that huimin got LOTS OF PHOTOS OF QIEN.
but i dun have....
WAHWAHHHHHHHH..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(burst into tears again)
but huimin really is v xixin.
made e present for qiqi and didi.
felt really touched just looking at it, though i'm not e recipient.
can see that huimin really love the two of them.
i should be jealous.
lol.
labrador is really v qiang,
can stay underground for so long.
dunno wat is he doing down there.
we waited so long for him.
but e winner goes to....
DARREN WONG.
i think he climbed all e way here.
haha.

took pics opp parkway while waiting for qiqi and didi to arrive.
then when they arrived,
we took a group pic.
without huimin.
PITY!!!
should've asked a passerby to help us take e pic.

from left:
brown tee: sebast.
yellow tee: xinan.
white 3/4 sleeve: me.
khaki tee: qiqi.
white tee: didi.
light blue-gray tee: darren.
pink tee: rongxin.
blue tee: clare.
green top: huiting.
not in pic: huimin.

anyway,
we bought a tee and wallet for didi,
and a soccer ball for qiqi.
haha.
OH YAH, and a cake and two geberras for e two of them.
one each.
red for HONG qiqi,
yellow for who?
HUANG didi.
haha.
who thought of it?
me. O:D

went to katong shopping centre before going parkway to buy e cake.
didn't want to try pool.
huiting and rongxin left us there cos huiting needed to get home early.
so left me and huimin.
show you wat we're wearing,
so that you'll understand why i didn't want to play.

it's tube top and a top that cuts across my shoulders!!!
if i lean forward...
and i havent say wat bottoms did we wear.
mini skirts!
GREAT COINCIDENCE.
lol.
but then...
i saw darren and qiqi play...
thought qiqi really kinda pro.
just hit and e ball went in.
lol.
so tempted to play lor...
haha.
besides, they count by mins.
so i psycho huimin to play with me.
haha.
we opened another table.
my first hit...
e ball made only a few turns.
SO MALU!!!
and qiqi kept coming over to see how i play.
damn stressed arh...
haha.
if he saw how i played,

he'll surely laugh and die.
luckily later sebast and didi came back.
so helped us with e game.
haha.
me and didi won!!!
so when huimin, sebast and i left to get e cake, the guys were finally happy.
cos they got to go play lan.
so bad.

had dinner at parkway's fish and co.
took some really beautiful pics.
THKS LOADS HUIMIN!!!!
for taking such a wonderful pic of me and qiqi.
i shall not admit that e pic was well taken becoz of e two shuai and mei objects in it.

(haha... bhb.)

nice rite?!?!?!
e dinner came.
felt kinda nauseaous.
had a feeling i ate too much.
haha.
or maybe it was e oil of e fish and chips.
too much le.

pics of e two bdae boys and cutting of cake below.
in case you're wondering,
i thought of e words that were written on e biscuit.
haha.
"happy bdae qiqi and didi."
see how much i love you two???
hahaha....

(haha... laogong and da de. oi, xiao de chi cu le!!!)

after e dinner,
elvin left us too.
haiz.
so sad.
we walked all e way to east coast park.
my feet were having blisters le.
needed plasters.
WAHWAHWAHHHHHHHHHH..........!!!!!!!!!!!
(burst into tears again)
stupid darren...
forced xinan to imitate wat qiqi and i did.
haha.
so we played along lor.
i was contemplating if i ought to do something "extreme".
lol.
BUT NO, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
haha.
must still think of my reputation.
lol.
huimin and sebast went to get some stuff.
lol.
dunno went how long.
only came back when we wanted to leave.
haha.
e rest of e guys played monkey while i sat and watched.
den they suggested soccer.
den dunno how,
ended up playing volleyball.
so we split into two groups of 3.
qiqi, didi and darren,
xinan, me and clare.
haha.
so didi and i played vb,
qiqi used his soccer skills to pass e ball around,
and e rest used rojak skills.
haha.

but it's damn fun!!!!
juz kept on playing and playing.

only den did i find out that xinan's reflexes are v gd.
e ball rolled towards e sea v quickly.
when xinan saw it roll past him,
he jumped out of e stone bench and ran towards it and saved e ball from getting into e sea.
WOW!!!
you should see how he ran.
lol.
damn fast.
haha.
clare....
a bit of prob lah.
haha.
dunno how he run de.
nvm, i dun run that well either.
we went home around 10.
couldn't get a cab till 11 plus lor.
i was getting worried.
wondered if i would get slaughtered.
but luckily, i wasn't.
qiqi was v sweet at that time too.
helped me put plaster on my abrasions.
haha.
so i reached home around 1130.
had a bath,
talked to my aunt for a moment,
and ended my day.
it was a great day.

romance.fun.friendship.love.

happiness was at its pinnacle.
i felt so loved by each and every one there that i wondered if anything better could occur.
i'll surely miss all of you when you guys graduate.

still thanking huimin.
tis time, for organizing such a wonderful bdae.
though it's not mine.
BUT I ENJOYED MYSELF V MUCH!!!!

more abt 3july e next time.
tis is long enough.

2007-07-08T23:38:00.000+08:00

met up with Ms Chew today!!!
omg!!!
it's been 6 years!!!!
wah...

shimin pangseh us...
but nvm lah,
i noe my dear shimin surely have a valid reason de.
haha.

we talked a lot.
at first i was kinda nervous...
cos as her ex-student,
cannot be too sui bian.
should present myself well mah...
haha.
i even worried over wat should i wear to meet her at amk hub!!!
lol.
muz be siao diao le.

but everything turned out very well.
haha.
we enjoyed e salad and waffle at New York New York.
after e conversation,
sorta have even better understanding abt marriage.
it's really v serious.
it's not like, "marry arh? ok lor." that kind of thing.
lots of factors, considerations...
and a great deal of work.
for example, your future home, your wedding, the dinner, honeymoon....
OMG.
SO STRESSFUL!!!!
for once i'm glad that i'm still 17.
not like ms chew,
who's 20plus to 30odd. (stressed-to-get-married age)
so...
something to tell everyone, including myself:
尽情享受当个花样少年少女吧!!!

after around an hour,
ms chew's HUBBY, michael came to meet us.
haha...
dunno how to address him leh.
lol.
should call him michael? or mike? or michael kor?
yeah.
stuff like this were among the hundreds of qns in my head at that time.
but he's kind of a nice guy.
cos...
HE REMEMBERED MY NAME!!!!
hahaha....
we had a nice chat.
and he was kind enough to maintain eye contact with me while i was talking to him and ms chew.
i thought that was great for a guy.
kudos to ms chew, who secured tis mr-nice-guy.
can see that they are very compatible.
michael is a bit, i repeat, A BIT "boring" that kind lah.
but it's only a bit.
i thought that he might be "boring" cos he seemed like e brainy and v intellectual kind of guy.
but he also did makes witty remarks and jokes during e conversation.
ms chew...
as usual, is the v funny and yet, extremely mature female that i remembered as.
haha....

they're holding a church wedding at 11am, on 23 NOVEMBER 2007.
which is....
ME AND QIEN'S THIRD ANNIVERSARY!!!!
OMG!!!!!
hahaha.....
siao diao le.
wat a coincidence!!!!
oh my tian!!!
do you noe how much i love the day 23 November every year?
it's just like my bdae!!!
lol....

regarding a certain incident,
thinking abt it only reminds me of a song.
我难过by5566.
maybe i should post the lyrics here, so that ppl will understand wat i'm feeling.

那一年默默无言只能选择离开

无邪的笑容已经不再精彩

你害怕结局所以拼命伤害

说是我挡住你的美好未来

你坚决不希望我等待

我便默默的让你走开

如今你受了伤回来

叫我如何接受这安排

我难过的是放弃你

放弃爱

放弃的梦被打碎忍住悲哀

我以为是成全

你却说你更不愉快

我难过的是忘了你

忘了爱

尽全力忘记我们真心相爱

却忘了告诉你

失去的不能重来

i think the most impt part is the last sentence.
shi qu de bu neng chong lai.
or rather,
shi wo bu xiang zai chong lai le...

ok lah.
gotta go do work le.
MS CAI'S PORVERTY MINDMAP!!!!
O.M.G.
and TML'S MOCK SPA!!!!
wah lau eh.
still got PW RESEARCH!!!!
next entry den blog on qiqi and didi's bdae ba!!!
haha...
till then.

2007-06-30T17:12:00.000+08:00

jct's finally over.
so many stuff happened over tis hol.
so much.
so much.

pre-lep camp-preparation:
seriously,
and i'm v sorry to say tis,
i'm kinda unhappy with the rehearsals.
all in all,
i think we only had two rehearsals.
tis is v bad.
everything's so unorganised.
some ppl have e cheek to tell me that they've to work.
so that person's friend said that he/she is sick.
ok.
maybe they really have to do that.
the packing of files... etc...
erm,
haha.
it was kinda messy.
but all of us managed to get everything rite.
haha.
i think it was quite fun.

lep camp:
ah...
the highlight of tis hol.
e morn started off in a kinda bad way.
we started off e day by moving everything down from lep staff room to e canteen.
so,
we sweated.
after that,
group 1 and 2 went onboard e bus with tang tang.
LOL.
luckily,
group 3 and 4 went onto e bus WITHOUT ANY TEACHER!!!!!
haha.
so sleepy on e way...
guess i was kinda excited and didn't sleep well e night before ba.
1st morn was admin morn.
haha.
tj's blk is hall15, blk 72.
angelina and my room is 04-1495.
van and yvette's 04-1496.
followed by khiapeng and des' room, 04-1497.
lastly, sibei and joselyn's 04-1500.
haha.
our dear facs, huiting and rongxin stays in 1502.
i think they're v pitiful lah.
i always go jisiao them.
haha.
jisiao until i also kinda paiseh.
anyway,
when everyone opened their rooms...
they were greeted by lizards and roaches.
lol.
we were kinda heng lor...
nth came out.
haha.
now thinking abt it,
lt6 isn't really that far from e hostel.
canteen A was not bad.
drank juice for that few days there.
wah... i lost 2kg there!!!!
haha.
but it came back lah.
e food was not bad.
everyday feed and feed and feed.

haha....
my group got first for da men guo!!!!
yeah!!!!!
huang cheng de ppl jiu shi huang cheng de ppl....
can direct.

we slept e first night.
second night...
1plus hour only.
haha.
I LOVE E SECOND NIGHT!!!!!!!!
i've always felt remorseful towards e ppl in my class.
it's like,
every single moment i have in sch,
i'll spend time with qien and his friends,
leaving my classmates and ppl like khiapeng and angelina behind.
thks for e second night,
i've learnt how to play bridge,
had a fab girls' talk like never before,
and bridged e gap between me and my friends.
i'm sorry for saying that i feel fortunate.
and evoking some of e girls' memories.
but i really love each and every one of you!!!!!
last night... cannot make it lah.
play for a while...
den like, until 2 plus or 3,
go sleep le.
tat buleh tahan.
lol.
i've gained lots during tis trip.
friends became closer,
more understanding,
more FUN!!!
i wanna go back next year as a fac.
lol.
huiting and rongxin thought that i'm crazy.
haha.

here's a declaration of some kind:

to khiapeng: haha... I LOVE YOU SEXY!!! hope that i won't leave you guys behind anymore...
i'll try my best k? thks for making everyone of us so HIGH during each and every moment... you're like, totally driving us crazy every single moment!!!

to angelina: hey dearie, haha. i'm sorry. it's been great sharing a room with you during e stay in ntu!!! haha... lol. hope you didn't regret choosing me as your roommate instead of sexy!!!

to yvette: hey vett, i dun think you can see tis lah, but i miss seeing khiapeng pinch your thigh!!! lol... i think your da she tou is e ultimate le... lol. sorry if i'm missing every single time. dun worry. i'll be there for end of year chalet!!!

to vanessa: i think i treat you e worst lor. haha. sorry if i really did hurt your pride at times. but you are really a damn nice and CUTE hobbit!!!! lol... love you van!!!

to sibei: lol... you are really damn gong leh... wah liaoz.... but it's really nice to share a conversation with you... and play BRIDGE!!!! haha... juz realised that i haven't play with you yet... next time must play together k? haha.... dun play with angelina and yvette... the two of them muz be separated... if not all of us will go siao diao de... haha...

to joselyn: haha... i think you're also quite funny de... lol... everytime a bit a bit den laugh like siao also.... but i enjoy e night over at you and sibei's room a lot!!! haha... haiz... if only we can have it another time...

to desireen: dessi!!!! haha... e girls' night made all of us saw e other side of you... which we've never imagined... but i feel that it's good that you showed that part of you... at least we'll understand you more... haha... i think we all ought to have tis kind of talks more often... v bonding...

REALLY REALLY LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!!!

2007-06-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

为什么好的东西总是要离我而去?
是不是因为好运,幸福都用完了?
我觉得,之前太幸福了...
什么都好...
没太多烦恼...
过得太轻松快乐了...
所以,是时候失去一些东西了...

years ago, i lost a v gd friend.
weeks ago, i lost another.
pls dun let me lose anyone else anymore...

你...有话说不出来
海鸟跟鱼相爱...

2007-05-31T18:24:00.000+08:00

another day gone to waste.
i just cannot get sequences and series right.
great lah.
the only comforting news today is that i still remember how to do logarithms.
wat the hell.

should i look forward to lep camp?
hope that my class can see wat i sent to them.
tml still have to go back for rehearsal.
and it's at ONE!!!
wat a god damn weird timing.
haiz.

like i've said,
who cares if i use the f word?
hence,
i proclaim that i shall not restrict myself to refrain from using the f word.
unless there's anything that WILL, and 够分量 to stop me from using it.
however, that something always doesn't noe of its ability to restrict me in these situations.
so yeah,
meiyan!!!!
let's commemorate my liberation by constantly using the f word!!!!
YEAH!!!!

i think i'm nearing IMH'S doorsteps.
becoz after reading yesterday's and today's posts,
i realised that it's totally incomprehensible.
i dunno wat i'm thinking and why am i thinking like that.

i'm about to lose something dearest to me.
i dunno why,
i just keep on finding fault with it,
abusing it,
hurting it.
it's almost reduced to slavery.
why?
why did i do that?
EVEN slaves have rights.
slaves have thoughts,
have anger,
have a limit to their patience.
and to add on to it,
it's not even a slave to start off with.
its status is a few thousand times higher than slaves, if not millions.
at present,
it doesn't seem like i can ever recover wat i lost.

why am i hurting that something which is even more impt to me than anything else?

2007-05-30T14:19:00.000+08:00

for once,
you noe wat i want to do?
juz stay at home and accompany my grandma.

i think it's just my turn to have the sudden urge to escape from reality.
seriously.
many a times,
i dream, and imagined
if i would be happy if i lived in solitude.
no friends, no burdens, no school, no boundaries, no one else.
just ME, MYSELF, I.
sure, i'll feel lonely, i'll feel bored.
no one to share my thoughts with.
no one to tell my nightmares to.
no more joking around.
so wat?
i dun have to bother abt other ppl's feelings.
cos there wouldn't be any.
i dun even have to care abt not using the f word in order to maintain my image.
wateva.
who cares if i use e f word?
i dun see how ppl would be shocked to see angeline tan use the f word as regularly as robin hu does.
i want to break free.

calypso was confined to tia's body by her lover.
when can calypso finally be released...?
she was released when she betrayed her lover, and her lover betrayed her.
wat abt me...?

do i really wish to be released?
if i'm released, would i be happier?
after adapting to a new kind of life for 2 and a half years,
do i really want a change?
if i change...
going to tj will really be a torture to me.
i wouldn't even want to go downstairs when i'm in yishun.
i wouldn't want to walk in the pasar malam.
i'll turn my eyes away if i see anyone in red or a man utd jersey.
i might even close down tis blog.
my bed would have a lot more space,
cos i'll get rid of a lot of soft toys.
but really, getting rid of one certain big dog on my bed is enough.
i could put at least three other soft toys.

wat defines a perfect couple?

i've laughed,
i've cried,
i've worried,
i've angered,
i've dreamt,
i've worked hard,
i've tolerated,
i've loved,
i've cared,
just to come to 2 1/2 years of relationship.
wow.

haiz.

i dunno if i'm in any position to say tis.
love really gives you all the joy in the world.
but it also takes away a good damn lot of your patience.
ppl become younger with love,
they also age rapidly with love.

wat abt me?

AH WATEVA.
I'M SUPPOSED TO STUDY FOR JCT.
AT TIS RATE,
I'M GOING TO FAIL EVERY SINGLE TEST
AND A WHOLE LOT OF PPL ARE GOING TO GO AFTER ME AGAIN
JUST TO MAKE SURE I STUDY DURING MY EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT.

2007-05-19T18:03:00.001+08:00

not going to CO concert today.

latest procrastination:
get a life and stop being a plaster.

2007-05-15T22:43:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i blogged.
yeah, i noe, i v lazy rite?
i think no one comes here anymore.
lol.

loaded with lots of hw now.
due to e vb matches earlier on,
we missed lots of lecture.
wat e hell.
haha.
ponning classes was fun,
esp if it's classes that i hate.
for example, PW and GP.
and classes which i owe e STs hw.
lol.
BUT THEN...
lately something V STRANGE happened to me.
i actually dun feel like missing classes!!!!
OMG!!!!
tis is one great phenomenon that even i, myself, can't explain.
wat e.
god, i'm turning into a mugger.
shit diao le lah.
crazy crazy....

topics i can't do:
-alkenes
-alkanes
-redox
-chem bonding
-graphs
-implicit
-thermal physics
-kinematics
-forces
-dynamics
-energy, work. power

and the list goes on.

qien got FULL MARKS for his maths test AGAIN.
wah liaoz.
dunno wat's his brain made of.
if only i can have a bit of his brain,
my maths grade wouldn't be so depressing.
so far, the ONLY test i've passed is CHINESE LIT.
e others...
fail fail fail.
...
i think my jct's gone case.
die le.
but at least,
I FIGURED OUT BENZENE TODAY!!!
AND PHENOLS!!!!
so happy and proud of myself.
haha.

v excited abt upcoming lep camp.
tis friday going with you er and jiahaur to buy stuff.
i'm not v excited abt e "buying the stuff" part,
becoz that's not e main point.
the main point is,
QIEN'S GOING AS A FACILITATOR!!!
AND....
OUR DEAR DAUGHTER EUNICE SEE IS GOING TOO!!!!
HAHA....
MISS EUNICE SOOOOOO MUCCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
HAHA....
FOR A MOMENT QIEN IS OVERTAKEN BY OUR DAUGHTER.
lol.
DAD'S GOING TOO!!!!
THAT'S SOMETHING NOT TO BE MISSED.
DEFINITELY.
too high le.
haha.
the best thing is,
ALL OF US GETS TO STAY TOGETHER IN NTU FOR 3 NITES!!!!
LOL...
TALK ABT E THINGS WE CAN DO.
i'm bunking with angelina.
lol.
and desireen's sharing a room with khia peng.
haha.
shall intro eunice to them.

today a lot of ppl missed sch.
7 were not here.
1 in sick bay.
during physics SPA, raymond turned up.
wat e.
damn pro lah.
i think my physics spa is not bad.
hope to get....
level 7?
haha...
is that too high?
i hope not.

in conclusion,
"tis' e season to get mc, lalalalalalalalala...."
lol.

2007-05-03T02:50:00.000+08:00

for updates,
pls go to qien's blog.
found under e links.
too lazy to blog today.
since i updated his.
CHEM BONDING TEST!!!!!

2007-03-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

ok.
i decided that i'm too lazy and hence shall update my blog.
at least, before i'm permanantly classified as "no-lifer".

let's start from valentine's:
i went to jalan besar stadium to watch qien play against e young lionesses.
he had a foul which made me so maddening that i nearly left e stadium in tears.
but of course i didn't,
on account that it was VALENTINE'S DAY.
and those malay guys who sat in front of me.
who did they think they are?
making a hell lot of noises when they saw that it was guys vs girls, instead of girls vs girls.
i'm not against any races, seriously.
i'm against e behavior of those kids, who so happen to be all of e same race.
after that,
we tried to look for e macs nearby.
however, my usually-v-accurate sense of direction failed me, taking us in e opp direction, thus landing ourselves in a food centre.
e food was ok lah...
i had curry chicken rice while he had herbal chicken. lol.
after that, nth much happened.
we juz exchanged our presents and my aunt kindly sent us home.

orientation:
after spending my first day faithfully following e og wherever they go,
i spent my 2nd and 3rd day happily ponning it.
and dragging weimun with me.
kinda felt sorry lah.
since she didn't noe EVEN her ogls as a result.
we'll attend e morning talks with my og,
then run away during break.
and hide in e lib till it's 1230 so that we can go.
the mass dance was horrible and totally unorganized,
cos everyone is dancing to their own pace.
and e ogls are teaching according to their own pace.
they admitted that they dun even noe some of e dance steps lah...
i think e only ones who noe it really well are the sc ppl.

first 3 days of term two:
it was a blast!!!
i had the fun of my life!!!
imagine having one lecture, followed by two hours of break!!!
or even better, one lecture for e whole day!!!
however, juz like the shooting star,
it's only for 3 days.
gone in a wink.
i totally loved tis timetable though.

now:
ok lah.
trying to complete all my tutorials dilligently.
and that chem tutor of mine.
she's damn funny lor....
juz becoz i left the questions for which i dunno how to do blank,
i'm supposed to write an apology letter saying that
-i'm sorry
-i won't do it again
-and the reason why i didn't bring/complete it.
wat kind of dumb implementation is tis??

nowadays i'm almost always seen together with qien during lunch.
we're looking more and more like siamese twins--inseparable.
lol.
dunno whether it's gd or bad.
on a brighter note,
he doesn't really care abt being seen together that much now.
i should be happy abt tis,
since in sec sch, he's always somewhat concerned abt tis issue.
maybe he has opened up, or accepted the fact.

still dunno whether i should join vb again.
it's kinda taxing, and i dun really like the idea of going to sch on a sat morn.
besides, i'll only need it for admission to e uni only if i scored bs and cs for my A's, scholarship aside.
that's wat eunice said that e nus lecturer said.
haiz.
nvm.
tml go training den see lah.
i might not even get selected, given e fact that i've not played for 2years.

eunice said that she's now in odac.
dunno whether should be happy for her.
i'm happy that she's doing something she likes,
and she really really loved nanyang.
but i'm kinda worried that with her shit luck,
she might break her other arm or worse till, her leg.
since she was suay enough to get hit by a tree and injured her arm.

till then.

2007-02-11T00:31:00.000+08:00

i divided my prelim L1R5 by 3.
i beat that darn cousin of mine.
i got a2 for my CHINESE LIT.
i kissed EUNICE SEE.
i should be able to go tj.
i wanna laugh like siao.

everyone's happy for me.
fenglin, yawen, meiie, dad.
i think leetat's also included.

my life so far, should be more or less perfect.
i am eligible for tj,
i am in a very steady relationship,
i have a group of very gd friends,
everyone at home dotes on me now.
dun let anything go wrong. pls.

2007-02-04T00:03:00.000+08:00

been busying myself with preparations for new year.
mopping furniture, throwing away LOTS of old stuff, etc.
my study table is now extremely messy though.
cross stitch... v slow.
only got time to do it while watching "jin zhi yu nue".

went to S.H.E's concert with qien last sat.
got free tickets from my uncle.
since they're sponsored, of course e seat is rather far away.
but still can see them lah.
e indoor stadium ain't that huge afterall.
best thing of all: watching fei lun hai.
worst thing of all: watching sun yan zi. and getting TWO LARGE FRIES CONFISCATED.

nowadays i sleep at 3 every weekday.
cos i always go to youtube to watch "hua yang shao nian shao nu".
always looking forward to every monday nite.
so that i can watch e latest episode that e taiwanese have uploaded.
wu zun is damn shuai.
juz like wang lee hom.
except for the fact that he is younger than lee hom.

e release of o level results should be on my bdae.
so dun feel like getting it.
unless, of course, i get a score of say, 12?
which is so damn difficult.
i'm happy enough if one of my humans can get a 3,
my chem get 2,
both maths get 2 or 1,
and my english get 2.
leaving me with a total score of 12.
then i can get into tj and meet meiie and dad and qien everyday for lunch.
or at least, go home together.
if i can get 6pts,
i'll flip.
really flip.
but i won't get it lah.
so i won't flip.
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ON MY 17TH BDAE?!?!?!
oh it'll be such a memorable bdae.
for two years i memorised how to solve trigo equations and how to test for a cation.
only to receive some time bomb on my bdae.
wat a lucky life i lead.

2007-01-24T00:50:00.000+08:00

i've a new wish.
BUY HANA KIMI (HUA YANG SHAO NAN SHAO NV) VCD!!!!

2007-01-11T01:17:00.000+08:00

my first entry in 2007.

My life so far:
-Slacking at home everyday.
-Do household chores.
-Do cross stitch.
-Occasionally talk with eunice.
-Watch "小宝与康熙".

Wat i want to achieve tis year:
-Lose weight. Make my BMI drop to 21. (Every year it's e same.)
-Finish "茶经" and "红楼梦".
-Finish my cross stitch.
-Finish memorising e "highway code", and be prepared to take e test once i hit
18. So that i can get my driving liscence before 19yr11mth, and get a car.
-Spend more time with my friends, which i've not been doing since e os are over.

-Stop being a lazy bum and start to be more hardworking. (Ha! As if.)

-Stop being so fierce to guys. (But sometimes, they juz need it, so i give it.)

-Go for my cca regularly. Kinda miss e feeling of having a cca.
-Find some time and play vb with meiie.
-Find some time and MAKE HONG QIEN洪启恩 play vb with me.

-Help qien find that choker for his bro.
-Wash the big doggy that qien gave me. It's time for a bath.
-To prove to that dumb sharkfin aka robin hu that even though qien and i are
together, qien can still do better than that dumb ass during e a's. And call him
a LOSER. in the face. Don't say that i dun dare. Cos i do.

Wat i want tis year:
-A volleyball, preferably molten. Not spalding, though. I like blue and yellow.

-That zinc bag that meiie is selling to me. (If only she'll give me a discount.)
-Heels.
-More bags, like the one qien bought me. O:D
-A new and larger pencil case, and more pens.
-New hp charm.
-New wallet.

BIG HINT: MY BDAE'S DUE IN LESS THAN A MONTH.
ANOTHER BIG HINT: VALENTINE'S DUE IN ONE MONTH TOO.

2006-12-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

updated my wish list.
kindly go to my profile and have a look.
and my "19 nov 2006" entry.

went class chalet a week ago.
i was v lucky, thank you v much.
lucky enough to get bombed at least 3 times in e game "zhong ji mi ma".

e day started off when i went to white sands together with qien.
met meiie there.
then went to look for shampoo, cos qien didn't bring.
meiie and i got crazy and started hitting each other, when andre and kiangang came along.
my, kiangang really grew v tall.
compared to pri sch.
all of us went to e foodcourt.
met leetat there.
it was then that i found out that nobody wanted to eat, even though andre said that he wanted to have lunch together.
only me and qien had desserts.
so, after finishing my dessert,
me, meiie and leetat went to ntuc to get some stuff.
got e three guys to come down to help carry e groceries.
note: the guys are there for a reason.

becoz meiie insisted on getting her present on that day,
our pitiful guys went to e chalet first, leaving us girls to shop.
her present was a red bag bought from ice lemon tee.
it cost $42.95.
andre, kaijie and i paid 10 bucks each.
till now, i'm still looking for e 4th kid to share e present, who'll have to pay 10.
let me noe if you're interested.

we took e bus to downtown east,
only to find that our dear friends have already checked in.
after a bit of searching,
we were glad to find that we occupy one blk by ourselves.
blk Q.
it's juz two connecting chalet rooms by itself, and rather secluded, i muz say.
there's a small patch of grass in front of e chalet, and it's a short walk to e side gate, which leads you to e beach.
and let me assure you, it takes less than half a min for you to reach e side gate from e chalet.
e auntie was still busy cleaning e chalet, so we helped out and wiped e floor dry.
while waiting, we did play tai di.
MEIIE IS SUCH A NOOB!!!
lol.
so sue me.

after settling down, shihan, gewei, shimin and kaijie came.
meiie, qien and i wanted to take advantage of e $6 promotion escape is offering, so we dragged kaijie along.
if not, meiie said that she'll feel like a lightbulb.
yah rite.
however, andre told us that there were 4 FREE TICKETS.
meiie and i were so elated, we ran back hysterically to find it, lest someone else takes it away.
we've struck lottery.

we played e following:
-ferris wheel: there's only 6 "things" in which you can go into. imagine how small it it.
-haunted house: they dragged me in, they dragged me out. I'M NEVER GOING TO GO INTO A HAUNTED HOUSE ANYMORE.
-rainbow: it's so cool!!! met meiie's friend amanda there. fell in love with it. although i felt slightly giddy. met clarence there anyway.
-children roller coaster: it may be a children roller coaster, but it's still not bad.
-children aeroplane ride: qien can't even fit into e front seat. during e ride, there was a gentle breeze. i love that gentle breeze.
-go kart: dun remind me again. it's a embarrassing moment. qien and kaijie slowed down becoz of me. meiie, as usual, was unaware of her surroundings and juz zoomed past me. or rather, US. would love to try e advance go kart e next time round though.
-wars: it was 7 by then. at a certain moment, we were at e tip of e machine, and all we could see was e blue blue sky. nth else. there was only heaven. a very touching moment, i must say, to be able to be there at that moment with my most treasured friends, meiie, kaijie and of course, qien. it was a moment to remember.
-choo choo train: dun ask me why we're there. ask kaijie.

lol.
after which, we left e park to join our friends in bbq!!!
*to be continued.... again*

2006-11-26T00:14:00.000+08:00

yes.
that's me in a tube dress.
and make-up.
MY LIPS ARE TOO RED.
hmmm....
dun feel like blogging.
stupid grandma.
made me dun feel like i'm having a break anymore.
e last time she was angry with me,
it took her almost TWO YEARS to get over it.
why am i so lucky?

impt: MAN U VS CHELSEA, 27 NOV 2006, 00:00

dun ask me why it's impt to me.

2006-11-25T00:36:00.000+08:00

i take back my word.
life after e o levels aint great at all.
my grandma and i fell out again. over cooking.
it's e same, juz like two years ago.
oh yah, it took her TWO YEARS to forget abt e whole thing.
what a nice, loving grandma i have.
i'd rather study and take my o's all over again.
at least e family is at peace.

yest had grad ball
not bad.
there's a certain standard in e service, setting and FOOD.
not some fried rice or beehoon.
thks to huiyi, who did my hair beautifully.
and free of charge.
thks to my mummy!!!
for making that wonderful bag till 0230!!!

as usual, shall update more later.
p.s. missing _ _ _ _ _ so much!!!!

2006-11-19T18:12:00.000+08:00

MY O LEVEL'S OVER!!!!
oh i love my life now.
however, i dunno wat i should do during tis long hols.
should i go:

-study
-stay at home
-or work?

hmmm.
give me your comments.

GOONG IS SOOO NICE!!!!
i love XIN!!!!
for those that love lu, i dunno wat you're thinking.
talk abt someone who breaks up a happy couple.
DESPICABLE.
DISGUSTING.

qien is now in china.
HOW DARE HE SMS ME FROM CHINA?!?!?!
but i like it.
O;P
he forgot to bring his scarf.
O;'(
but at least he did want to wear it.
didn't waste my effort...
miss him so much...

we went to kbox on 17nov.
as a pre-celebration for our 2nd anniversary.
2ND ANNIVERSARY!!!
know why?
becoz he'll be in china when it's 23november.
and i'll be at e grad ball.
anyway,
enjoyed myself at kbox.
we sang a lot of songs.
haha...
some quite nice de...
like "zhi dui ni you gan jue". (tis song seems to talk a lot abt me and him)
but songs like "tian tian ye ye"....
i think i've to practise more.
haha.
after that, we went to the temple at four horse road (decipher it yourself)
and prayed.
actually we wanted to go to jack's.
but we're too full after k lunch.
haha.
so went to pray for his safety lor....
quite funny.
we drew lots... haha.
i shall not tell you wat it's for.
but it's a GOOD LOT. O=D
he had to report to sch early for his match with e female lions.
so we took mrt lor...
i accompanied him cos he said that he'll feel guilty if he left me there alone.
lol.
end up he alighted at bedok.
i wanted to go simei's pet safari de...
but was busy smsing him,
so missed it.
went to tm instead.
bought something for him.
walked around aimlessly.
den went to look for him at jalan besar stadium.
lol.
less than five min walk lor....
so near...
that dumb kid dunno how to walk there.
we took 857 home, during which qien had tummyache.
he tried to go have macs with me, but becoz he was in such pain, he couldn't eat.
me too. esp when i saw his face. that pained look.
our day ended hastily as i sent him home.
of course i insisted it.
how could he send me home in pain?!?!
i'll be so worried.
he might take one hour to crawl home in that state.
after a quick kiss and a hug, i'm back into e lift.
he never got to see e tears flowing down.
haiz.
two years le.
first year, he went to korea and i cried e whole night.
second year, he went to china and i cried e way home.
ok lah, got improve le.

p.s. I MISS hubby...

2006-10-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

宫宫宫宫宫
宫宫
宫宫宫
宫宫宫宫宫
宫宫宫
宫
宫宫宫

我的野蛮王妃！！！！

2006-09-05T00:21:00.000+08:00

prelims starting in a week.
I'M SO EXCITED.
+_+"
made flowers for mummy chye.
for teachers' day.
together with puqin, wanyi, yuxian, jo, eunice and shimin and april.
O;D
shall upload e pics for you all to see.
see e power and spirit of us 4/2 '06 girls.
not all though.
O:P

nice rite?
of course.
went back to aps on thurs.
haiz.
SAW WENYU!!!
omg!!!
i thought she dissisipated into thin air.
OH WENYU, I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!
lol.
dad learnt from me and decided not to go to tjc.
talking abt wenyu,
it reminds me of a guy friend i lost contact with, two years ago.
a really nice friend.
lee shang tse.
O;'(
he's probably preparing for his entrance exam ba.
SHANG TSE, JIAYOU!!!

i think e guys in tj are preparing for their promos le.
i noe sharkfin and qien are.
and darren.
lol.
qien told me he became anti-social.
haha.
BOOKWORM!!!
O;P
hmmm...
hence, i shall wish:
-qien
-darren
-elvin
-dihui
-sharkfin
-huimin
-huiting
-jasmine
-yawen
-fengfeng
-that clarence
PROMOS JIAYOU!!!
DUN BE MY CLASSMATE NEXT YEAR K?
I WANT TO BE YOU PPL'S JUNIOR!!!
lol.
but then again, whether i could squeeze into tj is another prob.
another BIG prob.

to:
-meiie
-dad
-leetat
-jelyn
-ethel
GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR EOYS!!!
DUN GO BELOW 4.0 K?
lol...
or i'll smack your ass.
O:D

to:
-eunice
-ann
-chu an
-puqin
-yuxian
-april
-joanne
-shimin
-wanyi
-152.5 noob
-my other classmates in 6.10
-my other friends in aps
GD LUCK AND JIAYOU FOR OUR PRELIMS AND OS K???
jiayou jiayou....
everybody go less than 13!!!
i think i might die after slimming down to 13.

anyway,
that's all for my "gd luck"s and "jiayou"s.
till then.

2006-08-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

当我看见左肩破损的战衣
盔甲後你表情带著笑意想要对我说
外来的袭击即将离公主远去
那些令人刺耳的声音我不听
我不听
偏偏我又容易受影响容易伤心
没有用
微笑的表面不停骗自己
他们的语气好笑的攻击自卑的心理
四年来带著各种面具想让你我孤立
莫名其妙那些话语
莫名其妙那些话语
如同沙子掉进眼里不用哭泣
莫名其妙那些话语
莫名其妙那些话语
不如下档电影值得注意
我不要王子苦苦守候的故事
梦幻不实我不希望你是王子
因为瑰影童话结局为战而死
故事开端结局会因你而真实
像骑士的忠贞
不畏惧邪恶的眼神
这过程一直放在我心底
就像挡在你胸前的盔甲
保护著我让我心疼
骑士们发挥出你们的精神
就这样强悍的骑士撑到最後
骄傲的公主的要回家
整装再出发.

today's huimin's bdae.
last wk's fenglin's bdae.
happy bdae!!!!
hmmm...
friday went marina with elvin, clarence, huiting, huimin, darren and qien.
yawen, fenglin, dihui and robin supposed to go also de.
dihui got lots to do.
robin got delta meeting.
yawen and fenglin got tuition.
so, me and huiting went shopping for e presents first.
den took mrt to meet everyone.
darren was there first.
den elvin.
den me and huiting.
lols.
darren called huiting four times.
den huimin and qien.
cos they got pdp.
den lastly...
CLARE CLARE!!!
e minute i saw him,
i laughed.
and laughed.
and laughed.
uncontrollably.
well, you can't blame me.
anyway,
so we reached dragon village at 8.

*continued on 22 august*
and me and qien actually wanted to go home at 2030.
hah.
so we quickly went to get our food and started cooking.
initially we cooked e meat together,
but becoz of a slight disagreement and the urgency to go home asap,
he cooked and i fed.
the two of us.
lol.
so you can imagine him standing and cooking,
while i sit down beside him and feed him.
anyway,
at nine plus my dad called.
so we sped things up.
to make ourselves more full, we ate the buns and fried rice and potato wedges there.
by 2140, we've already left e place to flag a cab.
and successfully got into one by 2150.
was too tired, so i rested my head on his lap.
dun think too much, cos he placed his bag on his lap. O:D
and of course, soon i fell asleep.
only to wake up at 2220+, when we reached home.
my home in yishun.
so he accompanied me home and after taking a bath, i fell asleep.
thks for sending me home.
and i muz say that it's a v enjoyable outing.
the atmosphere is juz right.

two gd news:
CONGRATS TO MEIIE FOR GETTING INTO E PROGRAMME!!!
(as usual, pls ask her should you would like to find out more.)
things between my friends are improving!!!
wanted to tell qien tis de...
but juz now forgot to tell him.
and now he went to bed le.
he would be v happy to noe abt it.
wouldn't you?

and happy bdae to my father!!!

talked to qien abt our sch now.
e council, teachers, etc.
reminiscing the past.
me and him.
i guess anderson is something that got us together.
a VERY common topic, though different views on it.
"where is your sense of loyalty?", he asked me today.
though it's meant for a different sch,
but i thought that it would be a gd qns for me, regarding tis sch.
actually, though i act nonchalant abt tis sch,
i think i'll still miss the sch v much.
afterall, i grew up in tis sch.
i spent 7 years with the name "anderson".
no matter whether it's the primary sch, or sec sch.
though i always criticize the sch and pon sch on days when we celebrate,
i still love walking on the stairs and the slopes.
and though the canteen seriously need some renovations,
i still like the times i spent there with my friends.
i've never regretted going to tis stupid sch.
but i do regret making the wrong choices in some areas of my sch life.
let me tell you the best decision i've ever made in my sec sch:
going to china.
if not for china,
i wouldn't have made such a gd friend out of meiie and dad.
i wouldn't have loved china TIS MUCH.
i wouldn't have the most beautiful memories ever since sec sch.
and,
i wouldn't have knew you.
you'd probably juz be known as that vp who was rattling some nonsense during some presidential speech, and graduated before me.

to everyone:
foreign countries is a nice venue to start a relationship.

random thought of the day:
20 mins more to our 21st mth together!!!!
love ya loads!!!
o;D

2006-08-08T11:21:00.000+08:00

i couldn't understand.
i can't understand ppl now.
i used to be able to connect with a person well, and communicate.
but now,
i can't.
we always misinterpret.
i was a good listener.
with gd suggestions.
now?
no.
i can't handle them.
i can't help ann.
i can't help eunice.
i can't help meiie.
i can't help qien.
wat's wrong with me?
i can't make them happy.
i am so vulnerable to helplessness now.
i feel like i'm redundant to them.
they dun have to need me anymore.

2006-08-02T15:35:00.000+08:00

my chem results...
I COULD'VE GOTTEN AN A2!!!
if not for my stupid chem prac.
stupid stupid stupid.
couldn't finish lah...
dumb dumb dumb.
maths...
b4.
didn't drop, but didn't improve also.
I NOE, MEIIE AND QIEN,
I WILL IMPROVE.

CONGRATS TO MEIIE FOR GETTING WAT SHE WANTED!!!!
shall not type it out here,
cos i dunno whether you're comfortable with me spreading the gd news.
nevertheless,
I'M PROUD OF YOU DEARIE!!!
i apologize for not being able to share your happiness with you yest,
when you called me and when you're online.
cos i was having a stupid headache after clashing with abel during PE,
resulting in me slipping and knocking my head against the cold, hard and ULTRA DIRTY parade ground.
as for when i'm online,
bryan took over e com and closed the window.
enough said.
you noe how he is with computers.
a mere 4 year old brat.

oh,
and regarding that ex-classmate of mine.
want to noe the ending of the story?
she was together with the guy for 4mths,
she mourned for 4mths,
and now she found a new one.
a she, btw.
YES, so it's a SHE-SHE combination.
interesting, ain't it?
as for whether the new one is a life-saving buoy,
you may decide for yourself.

had a deep discussion with qien last night.
regarding us.
though i agreed to forget abt it and look forward,
can't help being less confident in us.
it's like, we've wasted 20 months.
together,
yet we didn't understand each other.
i noe wat you like,
you should noe wat i like,
but yah.
it doesn't equate to understanding you well.
does it?
v sorry abt it.
sorry, sorry, sorry.
信心大跌。
注意：急需定心丸。
looking on the bright side,
at least we talked yest,
after 20 MONTHS,
and not 20 YEARS.

"最可怕老公我会怕怕."---S.H.E, 《落大雨》

2006-07-28T15:04:00.000+08:00

i shall blog abt these today:

prep prelims.
a certain friend's MAJOR BLUNDER.
me being sandwiched between two friends.
pirates of the carribean2.
his inter-house soccer match.

prep prelims.
no. there's nth to be happy abt.
i studied so much for it,
and here i am,
getting a C5 for CHINESE LITERATURE.
meiie muz be wanting to slap me.
it ought to be one of my better subjects.
and i got a 59 for it.
how GREAT.

a certain friend's MAJOR BLUNDER.
so, tis friend of mine had a boyfriend.
and tis boyfriend of hers is working,
so he felt stressed.
so, tis friend of mine actually broke up with him.
so as to relieve him of the burden.
of taking care of her.
and now, the guy is ignoring her.
and she's "in pain".
at least, from her recent entries she seem to have "no life".
to me, it's a major blunder that she made that caused her pain.
and she deserved it.
when a guy is under stress, shouldn't the girl help him?
offer solutions. lend a listening ear. be interested. encourage him.
one can not be a burden to his/her other half by being independent.
HELLO, BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T MEAN RELYING 100% ON YOUR BOYFRIEND.
it's to commit in the relationship,
yet have the ability to live on your own when needed.
by relying, you are making a parasite out of yourself.
anyway, she wouldn't be able to read tis.
COS I DIDN'T TELL HER I HAVE A BLOG.
AND WE DOESN'T HAVE ANY COMMON FRIEND.
since she's my pri2 friend who transferred to NAPS and then NASS.
*note to self: am i practising wat i preached? only he can answer.*

me being sandwiched between two friends.
rite, so i have tis two vvv gd friends in my sch whom were on v gd terms.
den one day, they sorta had a quarrel.
den A said that it's tired of being together with friends whose personalities are not compatible with it.
den A started ignoring B.
B initially was apologetic.
but after a few days,
it was too sick of humoring A.
so now, when A talks to me,
B would stay far away.
when B talks to me,
A would stay far away.
they made me feel so guilty.
guilty that i left the other party alone.
i wonder how long tis will last.

pirates of the carribean2.
it's gory.
it's not as gd as part one.
it's scary at some parts.
it's not wat i like.
i hope to see an improvement in part3.
anyway, i think i've wasted my money on it.
could've went to kbox.

his inter-house soccer match.
i went to his prelim rounds.
i went to his semi-finals.
his team got 2nd in place.

he didn't notice me when i went to his prelim rounds.
until his 2nd match.
he scored one freekick.

for his semi-finals,
one guy from alpha scored kelong ball.
so they drove themselves out of the finals.
so his team, delta, competed against gamma.
they lost by penalty.
how sad.
nevertheless,
i felt that he performed v well.
v proud of him.
as for the sweet sweet details...
i shall spare everyone and not reveal it.
should you want to noe,
den ask me ba.

thks to huimin, fenglin, yawen and da lao po for spending time with me and loaning me your polo tee.
sorry for wasting you guys' time, as i did not dare to go to the spectator stand.

today's da lao po's bdae.
happy 19th bdae!!!.

and to my dear daughter, ann,
CONGRATS FOR GETTING INTO NJ!!!

2006-07-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

i'm v angry with you.
you asked me to help you find books for your project,
and i gladly did it for you.
after my prep prelims.
of course, dragging evona along.
from one lib we went to another.
and had to go thru some dumb security check.
now that i've gotten my mother to pass it to you,
YOU WENT TO SLEEP?!?!?
WORSE STILL, WITHOUT EVEN SENDING ME AN SMS?!?!
your dad picked up the phone instead.
guess how shocked i was.
hey, the issue is not abt getting me and evona to go thru so much trouble.
it's e basic courtesy issue.
by calling me, or at least dropping me an sms,
you could have saved me and my MOTHER from dialling that eight numbers continuously like two idiots,
which ended up either being directed to that dum dum voicemail or being hung up.
i believe that the explicit usage of such strong words can show you how agitated at the moment.

nvm,
i shall go to bed and relax and admire my nails and read my novel and drift off to dreamland, in hope that when i wake up tml morning, i can be in a mood gd enough to not chide you and meet you to watch "pirates of the carribean 2".

sometimes, i can be utterly disappointed in you.

pls, stop saying sorry to me, my dear.
it hurts. you and me.

2006-07-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

i feel downright embarrassed.
not to mention guilty.
so long never update le.
sorry...
was preparing for my prep prelims.
and now,
i shall enlighten all of you on why i felt guilty and embarrassed.

i didn't wish kj happy sweet sixteen on his bdae!!!!
that day was e world cup finals.
france lost.
i guess he must've felt down in the dumps.
that day was also my chem and emath paper two papers.
was studying e whole morning.
as in,
MORNING. (2am till 6am)
e emath paper2 was set by mr lim.
e chem paper ms goh.
den after e exams,
went to lib to study amath.
study till 7,
when HONGQIEN dragged me to eat.
i was eating. he was watching me eat.
to make sure that something goes into my tummy and most prob,
my waistline.
anyway, so i returned home at 9.
plopped down on bed cos i was up for 19hours.
and more than half of it was spent on studying.
when i woke up, it was two the next morn.
and there goes dad's bdae.
i didn't even remember to drop him a bdae msg.
how evil of me.
anyway, i promised to treat him to bbq in sept.
e marina south de.
juz before i step into e prelim exam room.
total hr of sleep:5

e second day started when i woke up at 2 in e morn, again.
to study amath.
it was set by mr chye.
23 marks flew away le....
i'm going to get hell from qien and meiyan, surely.
anyway,
so after e paper,
i went to lib to start on my cl lit.
gui qu lai xi ci along took dunno how long.
i had a hard time MEMORISING,
let alone understanding it.
so qien came again,
and he escorted me to dinner, as usual.
Eunice see, that traitor,
told him that he was doing a gd job in forcing me to eat.
and tipped him off, saying that i dun eat everytime.
so we had fried rice for dinner.
haha.
e fried rice was like, a little bit only lor...
but he promised me to finish a bowl.
haha... GD GD.
and so...
we walked to e bus stop opp kfc.
a coincidence that 138 and 853 came together.
so we boarded e buses separately when eunice called.
SHE FORGOT TO BRING TANG SHI SONG CI HOME...
AND THAT'S THE LARGEST COMPONENT IN OUR CL LIT PAPER...
so...
she decided to go to my grandma's place at one. am.
and so...
i slept right after i reached home.
no of hours of sleep:5

(more later, due to the fact that I'M TIRED.)
(and i'm going to bed.)
(and have a NICE, LONG SLEEP.)

2006-06-28T22:54:00.000+08:00

kinda like wat i wrote for chinese compo.
decided to post it here.

幸福.

XIN, 我的心,在小鹿乱撞. 心,他的心, 是否有我呢?
在车上, 他坐在我面前, 我坐在他后面. 不敢看他, 是怕他从我眼神中看出那个秘密. 告诉自己, 这只是短暂的单恋, 是心理浪漫的情愫在作怪, 才想在国外旅行时相恋. 告诉自己, 回国就不会了... 回国就不会了...

XING, 当然行, 我心里回答着. 可是面对着他突如其来的问题, 我只能愣愣地让脸由白变红. 白, 是因为被那问题吓倒了. 红, 是因为你知道了心里的秘密.
那一晚, 就像许多爱情小说中的女主角, 我失眠了.

XING, 酷刑的刑, 就在回国后的第三天. 我们在逛街时碰见他父母了. 父母要我们分离, 因为我们都还在求学. 我们答应少来往. 眼泪掉啊掉, 想停都不行. 心在受刑, 双眼也在受刑. 受刑后的结果: 心中无比的难过, 和哭得几乎睁不开的双眼, 外加大量从眼睛流失的水份.

"XIN, 的确会很辛苦. 可是我要证明给我父母看, 我们是认真地, 成熟地在谈这段恋爱. 所以, 我们要努力读书, 证明给大家看, 好吗?" 他以期待的眼光看着我.
辛, 真的会很辛苦, 可是我会和你一起努力, 一起证明的.

XIN, 这是个温馨的画面. 虽然不是在逛街, 看电影或吃饭, 而是在读书做功课, 还是觉得很温馨, 因为我知道, 努力是为了将来, 为了自己, 为了证明. 证明了, 他父母就能开始接受我们了.
我们正在朝目标前进.

XING, 就在星空下, 我们庆祝了一周年纪念. 没什么特别的, 一个大大个的熊熊, 一个用365只纸鹤做成的装饰品, 从朋友的烧烤会的鸡翅膀, 沙爹, 三文治, 寿司, 米粉, 鱼丸, 果汁, 我们享用了一顿称得是经济又丰富的晚餐.
一整年, 我们没什么大吵大闹的. 有的嘛, 就是逗来逗去罢了. 或许是时间不够久, 或许是因为根本没大风大浪让我们经历. 患难见真情嘛, 不是吗?

XIN, 指的是欣慰. 为我们考的好成绩感到欣慰, 为我们的付出终于得到收获而感到欣慰, 为我们已不同校, 恋情还蛮稳定而感到欣慰, 为我们成功证明给他父母看, 我们并没忽略功课, 反而使对方的功课进步而感到欣慰.

XIN XING XING XIN XIN XING XIN, 这七个发音几乎同样的字, 把我们的恋情简单地分成七个小篇章. 终于来到第八个几乎同音的字: 幸, 幸福的幸. 十分重要的一个字. 它是这篇文章的主题, 也是我现在恋情的主题, 贯穿着这文章, 贯穿着我现在的生活.
庆幸, 是因为能遇到他. 幸福, 是因为能一路和他走来, 又再一路和他一起走下去.

kindly leave your comments on my tagboard k?

2006-06-16T00:05:00.000+08:00

爱情路
有点雾
雾散留下了露珠
这露珠丰满了爱的泥土
爱情路
弯弯路
弯的像一串珍珠
每一步都有简单的领悟
答应你我不会再庸庸碌碌
答应我你不要再嘀嘀咕咕
每个朝朝和暮暮
我都要和你共度
让手心一直都热呼呼
爱情路
有种缓慢的幸福
伴随一点辛苦
相遇是幸福
等待是辛苦
爱情路
有了你我什么都顶的住
这一路上所有的顽固到最后都值得被祝福

--《爱情路》。周华健。

一九四三
世界大战
阿嬷年轻的时候
爷爷爱他那么多
他们感情很深
但是爷爷身负重任
就在离乡的那夜
给了阿嬷一个吻
轻声说道
我要离去
别再哭泣不要伤心
请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你
夕阳西下
鸟儿回家
阿嬷躺在病床上
呼吸有一点散漫
眼神却很温柔
看著爷爷湿透的眼
握著他粗糙的手
阿嬷泪水开始流
轻声说道
我要离去
别再哭泣不要伤心
请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

--《会有那么一天》。林俊杰。

一位风烛残年的老妇人已近弥留之际。躺在病床上的她唤过与她相濡以沫几十年的老伴，让他给自己戴上他们当年唯一的定情物--一枚金戒指。一直在儿孙面前保持镇定的丈夫禁不住失声痛哭。当着众人的面漏过气息奄奄的老婆，终于倒出了自己在心底埋葬多年的愧疚：当时因为家境贫寒，他送给她的那个定情物实际上只不过是一枚铜戒。在他撕心裂肺的哭声中，妻子本已闭上的双眼又慢慢睁开，她柔情地望着丈夫，一脸安详满足。最后，她几乎一字一顿地留下了她最后的心声：“其实，我怎能不知道那是一块铜，但这么多年你待我的心赛过真金啊。。。。。。”这是我记忆中一个小说里的情节。

一个优秀的男孩不能自制地爱上了一个同样优秀的女孩。男孩在女孩面前不断大献殷勤，但是出色而又骄傲的女孩始终下不了最后的决心，因为她无法验证他千百次的承诺。她甚至幻想生活中能出现一个突发事件来考验他，但琐碎平凡的现实一直与惊天动地无缘。一次，女孩从家中出来赴男孩的约会时忽然想起忘了带手机，男孩主动拿着她房门的钥匙跑上七楼。晚上，女孩回来开门时，感到了明显的异样，钥匙在锁孔里全没了滞涩的感觉，原来是白天男孩发现锁不好之后往锁孔里滴注了几滴润滑油。随着那令人悦耳舒心的“咔"的一声,女孩的房门与心扉一起洞开......这是一篇散文中描述的一个女孩情感的心路历程.

小村内一对寡言的老夫妇一整天也说不上几句话,就连下地割麦的路上也相隔丈许,好像是两个急匆匆奔向两个不同目标的路人.这或许是让很多人所不能理解的交流方式.但当劳作中的丈夫不时停下来为一副老态的妻子默默地打磨镰刀的锋刃,妻子同样无声地为年迈的丈夫拂去额角的汗水时,残秋田野满目萧瑟的风景,顿时有了一种莫可名状的生动......这是在我老家截取的一个很普通的生活片段.

在以激情为主旋律的爱情里,与刻骨铭心,海誓山盟的相思相恋相比,也许,真正让人在心底回味无穷的却是爱之弦的一点点震颤.就如同在报刊上填补空白的短文,尽管爱情的版面似乎没给其太大的空间,却让人最大程度地感受到心动.

<<家长里短>>2004年12期 . 国伟.

today's a v long entry.
i've pasted two song lyrics.
both sweet sweet de.
AiQingLu is added becoz i like e song,
while HuiYouNaMeYiTian is added becoz e story is similar to e story in e passage above.
e passage is my chinese compre homework.
shan't say much.
i believe everyone will definitely have views on it.

my stupid cbox is not working.
andersonss.edu.sg is not working.
i'm v irritated.
and fedup.

went to taka to look for a evening gown.

my choice: blue floor-length toga dress.
my mother's choice: dark red/maroon/deep red tube knee-length dress.

should i choose one that i like,
which will make my mother unhappy,
makes me look mature,
can be worn for only a few occasions,
is formal and covers my legs totally?

or choose e one that my mother likes,
which will make me unhappy,
seems suitable for my age,
apparently can be worn for more occasions than e other dress,
is more informal and shows part of my legs?

有时,当我们追求着一段轰轰烈烈, 惊天地, 泣鬼神的恋情时,
不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有.
却忘了,幸福和甜蜜是能一点一滴地在岁月的流逝中累积起来,
不需要一次过品尝的.
这样的恋情,
将极端地苦,极端地甜.
吃久会腻死人的.

我很有哲学跟文学细胞吧?
O;P

2006-06-08T00:32:00.000+08:00

one week never update le.
how lazy of me.

had a talk with a certain someone recently.
i advised that girl to break up with her boyfriend.
since according to her, nth came out of e relationship.
am i v bad?

when he came back from lep camp last thurs,
he came straight to my grandma's place.
v touched.
O=D

changed hp le.
from 3200 to 6111.
still misses my old hp.
O;'(

past one week,
got slack, got go lib, got go jack's.
spent a lot of money recently.
have to save money.
besides,
money=food=fats.
so, save money=eat less or none=reduce fats and weight.

go lib...
10 plus till 9.
9 plus reach home.
watch tv till 10.
go bathe.
watch tv till 11.
use com.
slack.
den go sleep le.
and e routine starts again.
nowadays, my bro goes to lib with me.
meiie too.
eunice... first day only.
kept my earphones on.

maths... ok lah.
a maths... haven't start yet. (yes i noe, i'll start.)
chem... finish all e papers le.
physics... i will start.
chinese lit... headache.
english... all those stupid essays.
chinese... one paper only. can de.
lit... to hell with her.
ss... haiz.

mental note: draw up schedule finish everything.
mental note: STOP EATING SO MUCH.

2006-06-01T00:46:00.000+08:00

his last nite in ntu.
and yes, i really still miss him.
but it's nice listening to him talk abt e camp,
since he's enjoying himself there.

however...
he's asleep now.
and i haven't got e chance to discuss with him whether i ought to go to nus guild house for cap's alumni dinner.
i've lost contact with ppl my batch,
i dunno most of e ppl there,
and i have to pay 20 bucks.
on the other hand,
i miss cap.
really.

didn't go to sch today.
got flu.
rubbed my nose so furiously that i think now e skin is broken.
and it hurts when you touch it.
bad habit.
cos i dun like blowing my nose.
maybe that's e reason why my nose is so flat and big.
rub and rub and rub and rub.

my cousin's better now.
though half of his lungs is spoiled now,
he's out of icu, out of ica, and in e cardio department.
hope everything goes well.

i owe a lot of hw.
i really am dead meat.
first wk of hols is gonna whish!! like that.
gone with the wind.
suddenly feel so slack.
maybe cos now is first wk.
if qien and meiie noes,
i sure die.
they'll nag and nag and nag and make sure i study till i drop dead.
he's coming back tml.
and when he comes back...
he'll definitely see tis entry and definitely kill me.
argh.
nvm.
it's all for a gd cause.
so that i may pull up my stupid grades and hopefully, join them in tj next year.
i regretted not going for trainings.
if i had, maybe i could join dsa.
but with my stupid results...
hmm.
nvm.
anyway, it was worth it, giving up e cca.
we didn't feel ostracized ever since.
though i gained a bit of weight. O;P
but not all of it was due to e lack of exercise.
the very fact that i ate too much in chengdu made me gain abt 4kg.
from 53 i ballooned to 57 or 58.
luckily now dropped le.
how much... i shan't disclose it here.
juz hope to lose more lah. haha.

yesterday's shimin's sweet sixteen.
forgot to wish her.
go to sch muz remember.
O=D

2006-05-30T23:05:00.000+08:00

oh yah,
and i miss you.

2006-05-30T22:51:00.000+08:00

he's in ntu now.
in lep camp.
haiz.
i'm sick now.
not lovesick.
it's flu-sick.
haiz.
nvm.
life... ok lah.

had a talk with meiie today.
like, v long time never talk to her le lor...
too bad my phone no batt le.
if not can talk longer.
we talked a lot.
her life, my life, chengdu again.
she was trying to recall which hotel did she make a hole in e wall in.
lol.

2006-05-23T18:31:00.000+08:00

如果你从没出现，
我的世界还有什么可贵？
可惜不够时间让我们试验什么叫永远。

想念变成怀念，
心动变成心碎。

偏偏还会关切你最后属于谁。。。

我的天空今天有点灰，
我的心是个落叶的季节。
我不知道如何度过今夜，
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭。

如果你不再出现，
我会不会觉得快了一些？
可惜残忍时间总要把诺言一点点摧毁。

想念变成怀念，
心动变成心碎。

偏偏还会关切你最后属于谁。。。

我的天空今天有点灰，
我的心是个落叶的季节。
我不知道如何度过今夜，
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭。

--S.H.E《天灰》

my cousin is in e ICU.
he has multi-organ failure.
his heart, lungs, kidney and blood has viral infections.
his oxygen intake is low.
he's now in the critical stage.
24-72hrs, since last night.
sorry for breaking down in sch today and making everyone worried.
i shall apologize for my temper first.
cos i noe i'll be emotionally unstable e next few days and offend others.
esp my friends and classmates.
thks to ann and eunice, my two daughters, for ponning amath and staying with me when i cried.
thks to puqin for lending me her shoulders when i cried.
thks to wanyi, shimin, joanne, april and yuxian for showing your concern.
lastly, thks to qien,
for being the ever faithful and caring boyfriend.
for rushing over to my grandma's place to accompany me though it's already 1730 when you left e sch.
for encouraging me during our classes.
and for choosing to be there with and for me, though your tests are over and you could've gone home to have a good rest.

thks everyone.

2006-05-21T21:01:00.000+08:00

summary of wat i did:

friday:
confirm my l1r5 for tis term le.
got improve.
but still over 20.
went to do manicure with evona.
painted my nails milky white.
the service is v poor.
my nails were not filed and shaped properly.
and i dun like the colour of e petals on my nails.
to think that i spent 20 bucks on it.
went home to sleep at 2.
skipped sports day.
seriously,
dun feel like going to sch on monday.
dun want to face my form teacher and come up with another excuse to skip sports day.
besides, there's pe.
i dun want to take napfa.
muz remember to go beg my doc for mc.
so that i can skip napfa.
i'm tis despicable.
qien didn't have soccer training on that day.
so we juz hanged around at my grandma's place.
before going back home together.

sat:
woke up quite early today.
my cousin's wedding.
had to be something like bridesmaid.
so tired but happy.
earned 68 bucks.
everything ended at 2.
went back home to nap.
woke up at 1630.
got ready for wedding dinner.
temp. curled my hair.
looked weird.
went for dinner.
wore pink top and white skirt.
i like that skirt.
anyway, we left e restaurent at 2200 instead of 2145.
my aunt insisted that we had ample time to go from jurong to downtown east for another cousin's 21st bdae.
but we reached at 2300 in fact.
kj, lee tat and meiyan pangseh me.
one got flu while playing tennis,
one got big walk e next day,
and one had no money, lots of hw.
go figure who's excuse is wat.
leaving me with qien and michelle.
the whole day was one big mess.
i snapped at my aunt and qien.
they were annoyed, i guess.
esp qien.
we were like strangers e entire night.
i felt guilty and remorseful for asking him over to e chalet.
he has three tests tis coming week,
yet compromised.
juz becoz he didn't want to disappoint me.
he noes me too well.
so, he studied e whole nite,
only sleeping for a while at 0300 and 0500.
i hurt him.
too much.
too deep.
i'm sorry.
there's nth else i can say.
your hands were cold when i held it.
i can't sense warmth in it.
that's when i wondered, if our relationship is going to be history at a young age of 18 months.
if our relationship is like our child,
it would be abt 18 months old, able to walk and talk abit.
and starting to grow teeth and learn to talk.

p.s make mental note to try not to ask you out anymore.

of.lately.

2006-05-15T21:52:00.000+08:00

no money le.
left only 60 bucks in e acct for TWO WEEKS.
wanyi owes me 3.
leetat and dad owes me 9.
let's see.

30 bucks is for fundraising
(my mother knew that i'll squander it away, so she helped me throw everything into the bank.)
8 goes into my cousin's present.
15 goes into manicure.
10 goes into ann's flowers.
(unless she REALLY dun wants it.)

so far,
that's where my money will be going to.
O;'(

my results are out le.
more or less.
failed amath.
as always.
language is turning into a prob.
sciences...
ok lah.
as i've always said,
I'M GOING TO DEPEND ON CHINESE LITERATURE.
not combined humanities.

watched poseidon with qien on sat.
a very AMUSING post he created there.
i bet he's tired of living.
hmmm.
on the other hand,
he MIGHT be trying to spice up e relationship.
(yah, as though...)
so instead of our peaceful lives,
tension is created.
one tiny spark....
and i'll "ka-boom!!!!!" at him.
lol.

yes.i'm.heartbroken.

2006-05-09T01:11:00.000+08:00

tell me wat i can do to help you.
tell me wat you want me to do,
and i'll do.

i want independence.
so that i can ease your burden.
i want you to care less abt me.
so that you can spend more time on your studies.

i want you to take care of yourself.
becoz i'm not there to take care of you.
i want you to believe me when i say that i can manage on my own.
becoz i want to put your mind at ease.

i want to grow up together with you.
that's why i want to start getting used to you having less time for me.
i want you to be happy.
that's why i dun want to trouble you anymore.

2006-05-07T17:42:00.000+08:00

still doing integration and eng lit hw.
they're driving me crazy!!!
i really dun like eng lit, lemme tell you tis.
everything abt unseen lit is tension, anxiety and conflict.
give me a break.
really want to give up combined humann le lah...
haiz.
how am i going to take e Os at e end of e year?
dun console me.
it actually doesn't help, really.

2006-05-06T13:57:00.000+08:00

hmmm...
dunno wat to write abt.
juz finished helping my aunt with her accounts.
still got maths and chinese hw haven't do yet.

so far...
got my chem, chinese and chinese lit results le.
all Bs.
below expectations.
as usual.
but so far no reports of failing...
lol.
that's becoz i've not gotten my maths paper yet.
when i get it...
we'll see.

can see that he's under immense pressure nowadays.
i dunno how to help him.
wat can i do?
other than e usual encouragements....
but are e encouragements even useful in e first place?
everytime also "jiayou!!!", "you can do it de!!!", "i've faith in you"s...
say until i dun have faith in all e encouragements le...
does it really help a person?
even when i say "i love you",
will it really make your day...?
hmmm.
i dunno.
but if it'll make you feel happy,
我会很乐意地再说一万年:"我爱你."
O;)

end.of.SA1.

2006-05-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

lol.
today's e end of SA1.
i believe that i can pass e math.
as for scoring beautifully...
we shall see later.

went with ChuAn and eunice to shop.
went to wisma's DanielYen to try out an evening gown.
they also nodded their heads.
lol.
it's a milky white full length toga which costs 146.
and i like it.
too bad i dun have e money to buy it yet.
shall send my mother to have a look.

den went to food republic.
had mala noodles again.
i juz love it.
ChuAn and eunice had mee rebus and rice separately.
hmmm...
qien turned up one hour later.
while they were having ice kacang.

after that, we went to paragon.
only to find ourselves at e opp end of orchard road.
we were supposed to go to e man u shop next to Forum.
when we reached,
he was rather disappointed.
i noe.
so we went to toy 'r us in forum.
v nice!!!
i want to go there more often.
after that,
we went home le.
on the way...
didn't say much.
he asked me why didn't i say something.
so i tried to talk abt his sch work.
but not for long.
hmmm...
sometimes i do wonder if i really noe him v well...
so well that we ran out of topics in 17th months.
but really, i dunno how much i noe abt him.

tj sport's day.

2006-04-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

lol...
went to tj's sport's day on 21April.
borrowed polo tee from fenglin, and e pe tee and skirt from meiie.
thks loads.
changed in sch.
den tried to sneak past teachers to get to e gate.
tried to avoid mr tan teck poh.
but ended up meeting mr ang.
anyway, he didn't see anything unusual abt wat i wore apparently.
so shimin and wanyi sent me to e gate.
e driver v good lor!!!!
he charged me 7bucks when e meter says 12bucks.
anyway, actually wanted to give qien a surprise.
but stupid robin....
so i juz watched e race together with yawen and huimin.
we were at e student officials' tent.
the teacher in charge, whom which huimin refers affectionately as "xiong xiong",
is V CUTE!!!!
HAHA.
you ought to see how he asks e pupils to get off e tracks and stop blocking e student officials.
he told the teachers that if they continue to block e officials, juz give them more tutorials.
dun have to bother abt them.
lol.
i was laughing like crazy.
(of course, since i'm not affected by it. i dun have tutorials, i only have tys. lol.)
hmmm...
so his turn came. he was having a briefing together with e other runners IN FRONT OF US.
but he didn't see us.
he only knew that we were sitting there when he called huimin to ask where are they sitting.
as in, the class.
den he saw me.
after that...
nth much happened.
we juz sat there and watched e races.
it rained suddenly.
taekwondo was performing.
qien pointed out wenfeng to me.
lol.
not much diff.
still tall tall de, hairstyle never change....
hmmm.
e more impt part is that i lied to my parents that i went out to celebrate bdae with my friends
when i was on board bus 25.
my dad was angry with me for not telling him that i went out, despite not knowing where i ACTUALLY went.
but qien was nice and sweet enough to accompany me home, all e way back to my grandma's place to yishun, seeing how scared i was after answering e phone call from my dad.
thks.
O;)

memories.

2006-04-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

our memories:
that nine days in china.
e rehearsals before that.
sharing the same locker.
waiting for him after school.
going home together.
studying together.
taking care of him that one time when he's having fever.
huang cheng ye yun.
hwa chong voices.
all the movies we've watched.
going out to eat to celebrate our monthly "anniversaries".
going to the zoo.
mardi gras.
kboxing.
all the presents he gave me.
that one time when he got angry with me.
the times when everything is ok and juz feels so sweet...
our anniversary.

tml's our 17th month "anniversary".
hmmp!!!
who needs courting when you've the future?

p.s. save time on being shy and making e guy court you when you like him lah...

the.outing.mardi.gras.(muddy grass.lol.)

2006-04-17T00:13:00.000+08:00

MARDI GRAS.
ponned extra lessons on thursday to go home and do housework.
(mr tay cancelled cl lit, physics is internet lesson, chinese is optional.)
helped to mop the stupid floor and did some kitchen work.
den bathed and prepared to go out liaoz.
i was wondering if i should put on lip gloss when meiie called to tell me that she dunno wat to wear.
so i lent her my heels.
and she had to choose e pair that i'm wearing. ;'(
went with qien to tjc.
initially thought that we'll meet his classmates at central.
but they haven't finish.
anyway, maybe it's due to e long bus ride,
i felt like vomiting when we got off.
so we went to buy orange juice.
felt better.
so we rushed to tj to save meiie from e long wait.
den we met elvin opp tjc.
later den saw dad.
den robin.
den huimin, fenglin, yawen and another gal...
forgot le. *sorrie!!!!*
den we went to look for dihui and darren.
lol.
i told dihui that robin sent me e video of him slapping qien,
and he chased robin round and round.
haha.
anyway, qien bought a packet of lightsticks.
i took e blue and purple one,
he took e red and yellow one.
HE V BAD LOR!!!
ask me to go learn how to tie a tie.
den in future can help him.
wait long long.
actually i noe how to tie de... O:P
but juz act blur.
lol.
HOW CAN A GIRL NOT NOE HOW TO TIE A TIE FOR HER HUBBY?!
i may be stupid, but there's definitely someone else who's even more stupid than i am. lol.
we went around e sch to look at e stalls.
he bought two wristbands for himself.
went to Lt1 to see e teachers perform.
that was when i suddenly felt out of place.
had that feeling that i shouldn't be here.
felt odd.
that's his new sch. his current sch.
but nth to do with me.
a bit emotional at that time.
so we met up with meiie and walked together instead.
went to auditorium to watch magic tricks.
rather boring though.
den here comes e finale.
guess wat.
i asked him to go look for his classmates.
i ACTUALLY asked him to go look for them.
against my own wish.
wat's wrong with me?!
sometimes i really dun understand myself.
i wanted him for myself, yet i always managed to push him away.
den later on become so sad and depressed and blah blah blah.
also wanted to go de...
but i noe i can't. definitely can't.
so end up go home and sleep lor...
and he reached home at 3am.

not.my.day.

2006-04-10T22:56:00.000+08:00

today had 2.4km run.
v bad timing.
shall not reveal.
wanted to cry lor.
but decided not to.
i want to be e independent feminist in front of my friends, unlike my classmate who cried.
but deep down,
i realli realli was feeling damn sad.
that's why i asked him out today.
even though i noe that he has to get home early.
luckily, he agreed to accompany me.
went to kfc.
we talked abt mardi gras,
e carnival sort of thing in tjc tis coming thurs.
hopefully i can go ba.
though in e initial round of discussion, my mother didn't allow.
expected.
they always can come up with a load of rubbish excuses.
ok, not rubbish excuses.
valid reasons.

my first post.

2006-04-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

pls do not ask me why did i move to a new blog.
becoz of two "red flightless birds" bros,
i created two blogs and abandoned e old one.
which was created by myself as a bdae gift for myself on my 14th bdae.
significant eh?
however,
i chose a stupid insignificant day to create tis blog.
and at one go,
i had to deal with three blogs.
tis kinda shows how powerful love can be.
can make me give up something sentimental.
O;'(
but then again,
旧的不去，新的不来嘛！！！
so now, i shall start using it.
haiz...
still figuring out how to add music to e blog.
anyone can teach me?!?!