Friday, December 21, 2007
wat e fuck.
why do i have to be in the paper chase????
i feel so .........
i so dun want to think abt it.
fuck.
so feel like dying.
die before i have to join in e workforce.
and be one of e dumb kids slogging for a life.
my patience is draining.
being constantly cooped up in e house becoz of two brothers is not my way of life.
my lack of freedom has already cost me a friend.
ok, maybe two.
why e hell should they be my responsibility???
i'm their sister. not their mother.
cleaning up the shit after the two of them and making e whole house clean and making my grandma happy by doing chores everyday and neglecting my homework every holiday isn't the life that i want.
i noe i've to catch up on my studies and i want to do that.
but wtf.
i've only night time and sometimes, in the afternoon to do it.
i want to learn new things.
learn driving, floral arrangement and experience working life.
but do i get a chance???
oh no, fucking no.
i dun even have e time to finish that stupid cross stitch that i started one year ago.
wat e fuck.
i'm getting more and more hotheaded.
wat e fuck.
it's someone i dunno anymore.
sometimes the people you love are beautiful.
the life you lead is beautiful.
the memories you had are beautiful.
but when reality and the phrase "rat race" comes into your mind,
everything is UGLY.
i may love the people i love
but dun be surprised if i suddenly die one day.
i dun like tis world at all.
12/21/2007 09:45:00 PM
it's cold now;
Thursday, December 06, 2007
4th day since his plane left.
i miss him.
there's so much that i wanna tell him...
so much that i wanna share and grumble...
but all i can do is to send smses which were never replied...
anyway,
thks to dihui, sebast and darren for accompanying me to send him off.
though it was so late.
i suppose you guys wouldn't be able to see it anyway.
not to mention my aunt and bros,
who stayed there all e way with me to 11 plus.
we left e airport only at 12.
on e way there, i actually wanted to cry.
yah lah, i'm a crybaby.
but i noe that i've to resist e urge,
cos if i really do,
my aunt would make a u-turn and drive me home.
when we parted,
it's weird that i didn't cry.
just kept smiling.
and smiling.
till i'm on my bed and e lights are off.
dihui was kind enough to allow us some time alone.
haha.
but i was kinda shy or embarrassed.
lol.
enough abt tis.
my batt's running out.
12 dec.
12 dec.
12 dec........
feeling so listless nowadays.
i noe something's missing.
yah, no big deal, he's just away for a holiday.
but still....
i miss you so much.... O;'(
12/06/2007 11:53:00 PM
it's cold now;